Mario and Luigi: Crazy Star Saga
by The NessSnorlax
Summary: Chapter 10 uploaded! While trying to find the cure for Queen Bean, Mario and Luigi encounter talking toasters. Parody of Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga. Mario and Luigi go off to the Beanbean Kingdom to rescue Peach, but encounter the strangest things!
1. Toad Explains it All

**Mario and Luigi: Crazystar Saga**

**By NessSnorlax**

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, like everyone that writes fanfiction for Mario.

NOTE: This had to be re-written because of the enforcement of a new rule. The only changes, besides the fact that the writing style had to be changed, are that commercials are removed. Some things are re-written to make them funnier, because I have improved in writing since then. The previous reviews totaled 36.

This fic was origionally published in mid-December 2003.

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**Chapter 1: Toad Explains It All**

A new day has started in the Mushroom Kingdom. Luigi is busy drying clothes on the clothesline. "Why can't we go over to Wal-Mart and get a washing machine? It's only twenty feet from our house!" Suddenly, Toad runs over to Luigi, with some very important news.

"E-E-E-MERGENCY SITUATION! Did you see the Kingdom Courier?"

"No, but I have a subscription to the Kingdom Picayune."

Disappointed at Luigi's response, Toad enters Mario's house. "MAAARIA... oh, wait, MARIEEEEE!" However, "Marie" is upstairs in bed. Toad shouts a few more times, but Mario starts to take notice. "MARIE ISN'T HERE! Now, will you let me watch TV?"

On the TV, the Super Samus Super Show is on. "It's the Super Samus Super Show, starring Samus Aran!" The next segment features Samus doing a wacky dance: "Come on, do the Samus! Swing your arms from side to side, come on, do the Samus... why am I here? Why can't I be hunting space pirates?"

The annoyed Toad had to shout over the blaring television to get heard. "MARIA! PRINCESS PEACH LOST HIS VOICE!"

"Really? What kind of princess is male?" Mario asked.

"Um... that's a pretty hard question. The Rat King? Oh, I know him; he's secretly a princess and doesn't tell anyone else except his legions of Communist Rats." Toad said. Mario ignores him and just changes the channel on the TV.

The channel is the FOX News Channel. "We have a major story! Prices of socks have gone up in the past four years, from one hundred and ten coins to five-hundred and fifty coins. Most people living in the Mushroom Kingdom are very concerned, as they need socks for sock-related things." Mario, indeed, was very concerned, but not concerned enough. He changed the channel yet again.

He goes through such channels as the i network (formerly PAX), which claimed it had nothing on until 2008, when it would air the Super Old Timey Fun Timey Happy Man-Eating Easter Egg Special. Next, he stumbled upon a commercial for an Atari 2600 contest that ended in 1979. Finally, Mario stumbles upon a show with a talking map. "Dora, Boots, and Diego need to go to Albany. But Dora doesn't know how to get there. They need to go through the Canadian cornfields, onto NY State Highway 341, and they'll arrive at Albany! Say it with me! Cornfields, NY State Highway 341, Albany! Cornfields, NY State Highway 341, Albany! Cornfields, NY State Highway 341, Albany! Cornfields, NY State Highway 341, Albannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyy!" the hyperactive talking map exclaimed as it suddenly dissappeared. "Honestly, that has to be the second weirdest show ever, after the show with the purple and red things."

Meanwhile, Toad is shouting out names that rhyme with Mario. "HELLO! MARIE! MARIAH CAREY! MARY!" He continues shouting more names, even making up some as he goes along. Mario, of course, continues ignoring Toad and keeps on pressing the button on the remote. He stumbles upon a crazy show, imported all the way from Japan.

"Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, never running from a real fight..."

"Why does everyone have to rhyme things all the time? I remember the time Bowser tried to rhyme. He ended up eating all the socks in the Mushroom Kingdom. Oh, those poor socks! It should be outlawed!" Mario exclaimed.

The song continues. "...She is the one named Sailor Moon. She will never turn back on a friend, she will always be there to defend, she is the one of whom you could depend, she is the one named..."

Mario interupts again. "Pottery Barn? Bed, Bath, and Beyond? It has to be Pottery Barn, _it just has to be!_" However, Mario turns out to obviously be wrong. "Sailor Venus! Sailor Mercury! Sailor Mars! Sailor Jupiter! The secret powers are so new to her; she is the one named Sailor Moon!" The song repeats the first verse again.

"I have a good idea for a story," Mario says. "It takes place about a queen named Beryl, in the kingdom that's south of this one, which is just some imaginary island called Uncreatively Named Imaginary Island. The name is from Serbia, but the super happytastic island paradise isn't! She rules that nation thing until..." Mario continues rambling on about the story, writing it down. He rambles on about the queen, cheesecake, and the lawnmowers that eventually eat all of the cheesecake. He said that the lawnmowers were evil, grass-eating lawnmowers, along with evil cheesecake-eating lawnmowers. "...then, the olives from the Beanbean Kingdom ate Queen Beryl, and then the Mushroom Kingdom invaded that kingdom, and then stuff happened."

The TV was still on. "Come, come, come to the Mushroom Square Garden, Garden, Garden to see, see, see Auctionsaurus Rex to, to, to see some type, type, type of action. Go on August 11, 11, 11 for some..." The commercial is abruptly interrupted.

"This is an MKBC Special Report," Announcer says.

"Pocky is good for you," the newscaster said. "We now return to our regularly schedueled programming.

On Sailor Moon, Usagi says something about a problem infesting Tokyo: "But if we don't control the radioactive mole population, the Negaverse could destroy this city and Japan!" "But that is horrible! It's filled with horrible!" Ami feared for her life.

Another news report, however, left the show at a cliffhanger. "Moscow in blames, pencils headed towards New Amsterdam. Film at eleven."

The female newscaster, who was in Damascus, said "Well, Newsreporter, I'm not in a place you mentioned, but we're only doing these pointless stories to interrupt Sailor Moon, and to possibly interrupt certain fanfics somewhere in the universe."

At the main news studio, the newscaster finishes the report. "In other news, Pocky is good for you."

Announcer was about to announce that the report was over, but Enraged Sailor Moon Fan snuck up behind him and started choking him. "That's what you get for interrupting the best show in the world!" Since there's now a major news story in the newsroom, the newscaster reports. "We have just recieved breaking news from fifteen feet away in this studio near the Mushroom Bridge! Someone is choking Announcer!"

"You don't need to make news..." the Cameraman reminded News Guy before he butted into the conversation. "MORE BREAKING NEWS! The cameraman said something!"

"This sure is going to be a crappy job."

Meanwhile, the obviously ignored Toad is shouting is lungs out. "HELLO! MARIE! MARIA! MARIO! GET DOWN HERE! PRINCESS PEACH IS SPEAKING IN EXPLODING VOCABULARY!"

This got Mario's attention, and he rushed out of his house. He changes into his normal clothes, uses the clothesline rope to tie Luigi to the car they're driving, and drives off.

"BUT I WANNA GO TO WAL-MART! I NEED FIFTEEN DISHWASHERS FOR CLOTHESWASHING!" Luigi whined.

"TOO BAD! We have to help the princess!" Mario said.

"Geez, why is it always a princess that needs help? Why can't it be some other guy, like a prime minister?" Luigi wondered.

"Well, think about it for a moment. Nintendo has not created that character yet, and the author is too lazy to think of one!" Mario shouted.

At Princess Peach's castle, Peach is crying. Bowser bursts into the castle. "Sorry, I'm late for my daily kidnapping of Peach!" Toad, however, told Bowser of a problem with something.

"Oh, boo hoo, as long as she doesn't throw up on every little thing," Bowser responded.

As Bowser is talking, Mario and Luigi knock down the door of the castle and crash into Bowser. He is sent flying into the wall, which causes part of the wall and the rest of the castle to fall over. After regaining consciousness, Bowser was mad.

"Hey, you rammed that expensive car into my back! It's 14:62 AM on a Wednesday, so today is a day I capture the princess. So don't try and stop me!"

Of course, a battle starts. "Mario, do you know your action commands?" Toad questioned. Mario obviously knew. "Um, yeah."

Later in the battle, Toad remembered that he forgot to tell Mario something. "MARIO! I forgot something! You can dodge Bowser's attacks!" Like before, Mario knew and responded with "I think I learned that a few seconds ago."

"OK, Mr. Ugly Bad Guy, could you please attack?" Toad said. However, this statement made Bowser angry. "How dare you call Bowser, King of All Koopas, Mr. Ugly Bad Guy! I put on Koopa Makeup every day to make me look prettier!"

Bowser proceeds to burn Toad, who starts to run around, shouting "IT BURNS! IT BURNS! SOMEONE HAS TO TELL MARIO HOW TO AVOID BOWSER'S ATTACKS!" He continues to run around saying "it burns" and stuff.

Out of nowhere, some weird music starts playing and a big ball of a gaseous material suddenly appears. A person inside of some type of machine appears from what is seemingly thin air. "Mario! Are you surprised! It's me, Pokey." It was Pokey Minch from EarthBound! "I assist only the strong and able! That's Pokey. You guys look pathetic! The Apple of Enlightenment has already made a prediction. ...But I won't let what the Apple of Enlightenment predicted take place. You guys will be beaten by Giygas."

Not knowing what's going on, Mario is confused. Luigi, who's never heard about the Apple of Enlightenment, wants to know what it is. "Yes, apples are an okay food, but what is so special about an enlightening apple? Does it talk? And where can I get some of this 'enlightenment' food?"

Ignoring Luigi, Pokey continues his speech. "Giygas will be stronger, a more powerful entity than any other!"

Bowser, who thinks no evil is greater than him, says "No evil thing can be stronger and much more evil than Bowser!"

Luigi scoffs. "Oh, please. All you do is kidnap a princess that doesn't send out legions of armies to defeat you. I don't know why, but it's how Nintendo designed the games. Why not capture Donkey Kong or Pikachu?"

Pokey, ignoring the two, continues the speech. "Why? 'Cause of me. I was led by Giygas, and now I'm here. The Apple of Enlightenment couldn't predict this. Master Giygas. No, Giygas is no longer the wielder of Evil. He has become the embodiment of evil himself... which he cannot control on his own. He is the evil power.

Before a battle could start, Mario interrupts. "Ahem, you're in the wrong game. Remember, this is a _Mario_ game, not a _Kribby _game."

All Pokey had to say was "You fool! Saying Kribby will make the planet Urf explode." So, in a galaxy far, far, but not too far away, a planet called Urf exploded. Truly a sad day for all humanoids on Urf.

Giygas is angered. "How dare you blame the evil entity Giygas on a mistake! The evil Giygas never makes mistakes! Also, spiked shell guy, how dare you blow up my home planet by saying the cursed word "kribby." Now, I'm going to eat you like those pancakes you'll find at the meat packing plant of doom, with it's own sixteenth century soldiers guarding it for some weird reason and various other things." Giygas eats Bowser and goes away.

"Great," Mario said. "Since we can't rescue the princess from Bowser, OUR STORY IS RUINED! Why, Nintendo, why couldn't you come up with a game where someone else kidnaps Peach?" Mario starts sobbing.

"Everything will be okay, Mario. Nintendo will surely invent some villain that they'll only use in one game to kidnap Peach," Luigi explained.

Peach was just siting back, about to speak. Unfortunately, bombs fall out of that weird text bubble that appears out of her mouth.

"Oh look! Aren't those bombs pretty? They'll make a huge EXPLOSION!" Luigi said with awe.

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Author's Notes: I do know what FOXBOX is; it's a programming block for kids on FOX, now called 4Kids TV. They have lots of horrible shows, like Fighting Foodons (and the Winx club). shudder 

MKBC Mushroom Kingdom Broadcasting Company

-The NessSnorlax


	2. Going over the Border

**Mario and Luigi: Crazystar Saga**

**By NessSnorlax**

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, like everyone that writes fanfiction for Mario.

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**Chapter 2: Going Over the Border**

Because of the bombs, Mario, Luigi, the Toads, and Mario's car fly off. Mario and Luigi land in the parking lot of the nearby Wal-Mart. The car does the same thing, although the landing rendered it unusable.

"Oh no! Our car blew up!" Luigi said disappointingly.

Mario, however, knew what to do. "Oh well. Rolls-Royce!" A Rolls-Royce suddenly appears in the parking lot. The Mario Brothers go in the car and drive to the place where the Koopa Cruiser is. However, there's no Bowser, so this prompts the Mario Brothers to look around.

Bowser is in another place, called the "Cave of the Past." Giygas is fighting Ness and his friends, but Giygas has a problem. "Urrp... uh, I have to go to the bathroom!"

"The bathrooms eighty million years ago don't have flush toilets!" Ness reminded the large, gaseous alien.

In the "bathroom," Giygas is throwing up. However, he threw up Bowser. "Hmph! Fine! I'll wait here for eighty million years! But I don't think that's going to get me to the future!"

"Magically," eighty million years later, Bowser is still waiting. "Finally! Those eighty million years took too long."

A random Pokémon trainer comes into the caves. "Hmm, I wonder why they take so long," he said

"Yeah, it's a mystery that all humans will never know," Bowser responded. Now, keep in mind that Bowser isn't that smart and is actually stupid enough to build a bridge over lava, put an axe behind it, and make it so anyone with a brain could chop down the bridge. That's how Peach escaped in Really Extremely Super New Super Mario Bros., you know.

Meanwhile, Mario and Luigi are still waiting patiently. Their waiting is abruptly stopped as Bowser flies over in that flying car of his. Bowser knew what the Mario Bros. wanted.

"Well, since you need to cross the border, YOU CAN GO IN MY SHIP! BWHAHAHAHAHA!" Bowser exclaimed.

"Why is that evil?" Mario asked.

"Well, it has a house, filled with the ever-scary GRASS-EATING LAWNMOWERS and one PlayStation 3!" Bowser said, while trying to scare Mario.

"Lawnmowers are supposed to eat grass. But the PlayStation 3 scares me for some reason. Now I see why it's so evil," Mario replied. He drove his car up to the cargo hold of the ship. Bowser asked Luigi if he was coming. Luigi responded with "NO!"

Out of nowhere, Bowser's Koopa Army comes up. "Guess what? We're boarding your ship!" a green KT says. In the back, a Goomba somehow squished Luigi.

"HAH! How's that for a strange twist! I'm too weak to squish things. I feel sad."

The ship leaves, but Luigi, who is still squished, is chasing it for some reason. Alarms on the ship activate and send out a warning message. "WARNING! WARNING! TWO DESERTERS AHEAD! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEPITY BEEP!"

Luigi, scared that something would happen, calls out for his go-kart from Mario Kart: Double Dash, which falls on his head. He tries to get on, but before he could, a big hand from the ship takes Luigi and the go-kart into the cargo hold.

The ship's P.A. system comes on, with a message from the stupid King Bowser. "Mario and Luigi, get on deck NOW! What? You said it wasn't possible for someone to run that fast? WELL, YES IT IS, WITH MY MAGIC POWERS! WHAT? I DON'T have magic powers? ARRG!"

Mario and Luigi simply enter the next room. A Koopa Troopa blocking their path asks "Do you know how to use your suitcase?"

"Duh! I don't need some talking turtle to tell me that! I just open this tab here, this tab here, and voila, we can see the contents of the suitcase. You can also store things in it and hit people with it." Luigi responded.

The Koopa Troopa, glad to hear that, said "ALL RIGHTY!" in a very loud, annoying voice and did a very crappy dance to some very crappy music. Annoyed, the Mario Brothers leave and go onto the next room, the photo room.

A Koopa Troopa sees the brothers and acts like a robot. "WARNING! WARNING! ILLEAGAL IMMIGRANTS! NEED PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN FOR PASSPORT! BZZT! CLANK!" As he said this, he was walking towards the ship's window and falls out of it. Other members of Bowser's army thought it looked like fun, so a Goomba decided to jump out. Of course, he'd probably get squished either way. Next, a Boo comes.

"HAH! I'm not going to fall out of the ship's window!" the Boo boasted. However, he was proved wrong when he somehow started to fall. "HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?"

While all of the commotion is going on, Luigi looks into the suitcase.

"OH NO! WE HAVE NO PICTURES IN OUR PASSPORTS!"

When Luigi said "pictures," the ever-famous annoying cameraman from EarthBound came in. "Say FUZZY PICKLES!" Luigi and Mario, who were scared, run off. However, the Cameraman could get their pictures before they left. When they did leave, Luigi verified that they were safe and moved on.

Outside, a greater evil arrived. Cackletta and her henchman, Fawful, were flying towards the ship. "EEYAH HEH HEH HEH... um... line!" Cackletta said.

"It's 'heh'," the nearby director told her.

"Oh, right ...HEH! I'm so kind of stupid!" Cackletta said.

"Look! Of thing flying now it is of Shangri la! Of attacking now it you we must commode, cackle monkey cheese apple Jane thing!" Fawful replied, ordering the two to attack.

Cackletta, one of the only few people to understand Fawful's garbled speak, replied with a confident "EYEWASH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

"Of 'eeyah' of it now is, not the of 'eyewash.' Of eyewash having of you do, I HAVE FURY?" Fawful replied, because of Cackletta's minor mistake.

"NO! I ate it all! DOWN TO THE LAST DROP! LIKE THAT TASTYFUL COFFEE! EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" said Cackletta.

On Bowser's Koopa Cruiser, Mario is teaching Bowser how to be a good villain. "Bowser, if you want to be a good villain, you have to be like other great and powerful villains, such as Gannondorf, Ridley, and Giygas!"

"Oh, I see. I'M GANNONDORF! I WANNA FLY AND TAKE OVER THE WHOLE PLAN-IT AND STUFF," the excited Bowser proclaimed. Somehow, Gannondorf appears. "I am Gannondorf, and I want to take over..." Before he could finish, a scared Luigi runs over and says "OH NOES! SOMEONE'S COMING!"

It was Cackletta and Fawful! Fawful used his headgear to suck up Ganondorf.

Cackletta, of course does her traditional laugh. "EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH... I need a new laugh."

"Of something having don't I you have: I HAVE FUR! No, no, no..." Fawful said.

"Well, duh, of course we don't have fur! Are you stupid or what?" Mario replied. When Mario said that Fawful was stupid, he erupted into some type of rage.

"NO! I HAVE FURY! AND YES, I HAVE LOTS OF FURY TO PASS AROUND. IN FACT, I HAVE ENOUGH FURY TO FEED THE PEOPLE IN SOME COUNTRY AND GIVE THEM VACCINE FOR DISEASE FOR FOURTY SEVEN DAYS!" After this, they entered a battle sequence.

"Fink-rat! Mustard! Fink-rat! Mustard!" Fawful shouted. As he shouted, fink-rats and mustard bottles flew out of nowhere. Mario tells Luigi to grab the mustard and eat the bottle, but since they can't eat the bottle, they eat the mustard instead. This, somehow, defeated Fawful. The Mario Brothers won and gained lots of experience points, HP, bros. points, and a whole bunch of the other stats.

"It's the Fawful family tradition to sacrifice your toothbrush every time you loose, and that's what I'm going to do," a saddened Fawful said while crying. "And that's what I'm going to do. Goodbye Shrimpman! I'll miss you!" Fawful throws the toothbrush known as "Shrimpman" and it literally flies away.

Meanwhile, in England, there is a mob of people protesting something. "WE DON'T WANT SOMETHING ANYMORE!" one protester shouts. Suddenly, Shrimpman lands in the crowd. The protesters didn't notice it at first, but the first person who saw it screamed "OH NO! It's a TOOTHBRUSH! EVERYBODY RUN AWAY!" The protesters all ran away. Nearby people, hearing this, all ran away except one Canadian tourist. "So, they think it's scary, eh?"

On the Koopa Cruiser, Cackletta turned the ship into the wrong direction. Fawful is about to destroy the ship until he said "Of TV watching important more much now is Sega Genesis." So, like anyone would do, he turned on the TV.

"This is the C-SPAN 5 news report about the Mushroom Kingdom Presidential Debate." Another person in the room asks the question to the three candidates. "Now, the question everyone in this country wants to know about: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"

Princess Peach (Labour-NatDem) said "Let's see... 1, 2... gah! I'm choking! Someone get this stupid round lollipop with mediocre chocolate candy out of my throat!"

The next candidate, Ash Ketchum (MKMRLP) replies with "I am the only one who knows the answer. And that is to crush it with my foot!" He proceeds to do so. "DIE EVIL MEMBER OF TEAM ROCKET!"

The third and final major candidate, Toadsworth (F), had this to say: "Now, this royal proclamation declares that the amount of licks to get to the centre of a Tootsie Pop will be 1, 2..." Toadsworth eats the candy, including the stick. "...3!" When he finishes, the C-SPAN 5 makes a little remark. "The only person not from the Mushroom Kingdom is Ash Ketchum, so he will be eliminated before we can vote at our local late night shows whenever they're on."

The ship is now over a town called Bulgar, which is in a whole 'nother place.

"Bulgar? Oh, you must mean we're over Bulgaria! Eeyah heh heh heh heh, that announcer is so stupid."

Announcer, who is mad at this, says "Uh, no, that's not a typo. It's a town in a game... oh, that's right, it's called Fire Emblem."

"Oh. Well, I don't care anymore, so let's listen in on some random conversation that's not really important to us, but maybe some other video game characters that live somewhere in some dirty huts and old, eleventh century houses." So, they listen in on some random conversation.

"More like, home of oafs with hollow tongues," a girl (Lyn) says. A person wearing green on a horse (Sain) says "Ooh, you're even lovelier when you're cruel." To break the mood and add some randomness, a pink hedgehog (Amy Rose) runs into the area. "HAVE YOU SEEN MY DARLING SONIKKU?" Amy shouts into everyone faces.

"Sorry, but we don't know who that is. Let's go away from this nonsense," Lyn said. Everyone else in the square goes away except Amy, who decides to follow.

On the top of the ship, Fawful is getting increasingly bored. "Fine of. Ship of blowing up time it now is!"

"More Ovaltine please!" Bowser says.

"Of giving you I HAVE FURY will I!" Fawful proceeds to blow up the ship, which has an explosion so big, the velocity of the force sends everyone (including the four people that were in the square) to land in Stardust Fields, in the good old Mushroom Kingdom. Cackletta and Fawful fly off into the distance.

"My Ovaltine! I never got more Ovaltine!" Bowser cried. He landed into a cannon. Mario, Luigi, Luigi's go-kart, and the Maybach fall towards the border.

"Wasn't the car a Rolls-Royce?" Mario asked.

"The Maybach is better," Luigi responded.

Mario obviously knew that."Then what happened to the other car?" he asked.

The Rolls-Royce crashed into the border patrol station, of course! Voices from the station shouted "THAT HURT, FLYING CAR!" as they rose up to the sky. Some holy gospel song is playing in the background.

Ignoring the song, Mario and Luigi now cross the border into the Beanbean Kingdom. "I'm going to put on the radio and go down to the nearest town," Mario said. Announcer announced what the radio station is: "This is the BUS, 101.1, Beanbean Castle Town." Then, they just stayed there and stopped.

Annoyed, Mario asked "So, what will we go on next? WE DON'T KNOW! WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT CHAPTER!"

"Yeah, you do realize that's my line, Mario. So, wait for the next chapter to find out what's next! GOODNIGHT!" Announcer exclaimed as he left the area.

"Uh, but its mid-afternoon! Are you sure you're the right announcer for the right fic?" Mario asked.

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	3. In the Land of Boring Villages

**Mario and Luigi: Crazystar Saga**

**By NessSnorlax**

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, like everyone that writes fanfiction for Mario.

**Chapter 3: In the Land of Boring Villages**

We start off with the Mario Brothers driving their Porsche. "Does our car change every few sentences?" Mario asked. All of a sudden, for reasons not mentioned in this fic, the mountain they're driving on changes to a talk show.

"It's the Sugary Sugar Show! Starring Sam Us, Yo Shi, and Gannon Dorf!" Announcer announced.

"First, how could this change into a talk show? Wouldn't the teleprompter fall down some big gorge and everyone on the set go crazy and turn the show into some type of fort? Second, all of those names are names of random video game characters with SPACES IN THEIR NAMES. What kind of idiot would make those kinds of crappy names? Well, probably the creators of Digimon." Mario said.

"Uh... well..." Announcer didn't know what to say. However, he did know that whenever there's an unanswerable question, someone should pull the Walker, Texas Ranger lever to show a clip of Walker, Texas Ranger. So, that's what he did, and a clip was shown. After the clip, he said "We'll be right back after this commercial. What the plumber guy said was WRONG." Mario, annoyed, said "Everyone's supposed to forget _Luigi's _name, not mine!"

The commercial starts. "Look, over there!" Girl 1 shouts. "Is it a Space Invader?" Girl 2 shouts. "Is it a hallucogenic mushroom?" Girl 3 shouts. The Announcer, however, proves them wrong. "No! It's the Easy-Bake Oven, from some company that the author doesn't know the name of."

Girl 1 tells us things we can make with the oven. "Let's make pies, cakes, and Big Macs!" Girl 1 exclaimed.

"You can make pies and cakes, but not Big Macs!" Announcer announced. However, Girl 1, proud that she made a Big Mac, exclaimed "I just made a Big Mac!" Announcer was weirded out.

A large hole appears in the wall as Cackletta rams her flying chair into the wall. "EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" Cackletta shouts.

"Where's your minion, Fawful?" Girl 2 asked.

"He's writing a book," Cackletta said. "Now, with my magic powers, I will turn those cookies into evil cookies!"

"But what about the Big Macs?" Girl 3 asked. "Uh, with their crappy taste, they're evil enough. They're as evil as me, but not as evil as some dictator." Cackletta announced.

The cookies rose from the oven. Thinking this was a kid show; an evil cookie said "Can you say 'Evil Cookie?'"

The kids in the audience say "EVIL COOKIE!" Some of them say "CHRISTOPHER COLUMBOUS!" and one of them, who is the zombie of former Albanian dictator Enver Hoxha shouts "ENVER HOXHA!" Evil Cookie, baffled that some people don't know how to say "evil cookie," asks the audience "Do you even know how to say my name?"

The kids shout "You can SCOOP it, and then POOP it!" just like that infomercial. Hoxha shouts "Who's Christopher Columbus?" Adil, that guy from Albania, enters the room and kills the Hohxa zombie. Evil Cookie eats the rest of the kids.

"This is so messed up! Can't we continue with the show?" Mario asked.

"It's the Easy Bake Oven from that company... gahh!" Announcer got eaten by a cookie.

The scene changes back to the Mario Bros. driving their Maserati... whatever that is. Luigi is singing some annoying song. "Rigamafoo-tofu-fu! I once had a car named B-O-B-E-T-T-E and its last name was B-O-L-O-G-N-A..." He sung for a few hours. "Well, at least we made it through those caves and talk shows, but it was worth it for our Froot Loops, which teaches children to be stupid and the parents complain because Kellogg's can't spell! Oh, and Speeshul K, Corn Rakes, and Cocoa Poops all taste really bad, too." Mario said.

While singing, the soldiers from the Beanbean Kingdom escort the car back to the cave. "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH PRINCE PEASLEY," Soldier 1 said. "Didn't you mean to put a question mark on the end!" Soldier 2 exclaimed. "That's not the proper punctuation mark?" Soldier 3 asked.

Mario knew they forgot something. "WE FORGOT TO RESCUE BOWSER!"

"Bowser? Why would we rescue him?" Luigi asked. "Didn't he try to declare war on such fictional countries as San Seriffe and the Empire of the Monkey Tofu Peanut? Besides that, all he did was go around and capture princess who could obviously escape, but Nintendo programmed them so they wouldn't."

"We have to do that because Nintendo programmed it that way. We must honour the Nintendo." Mario said. So Mario and Luigi drive whatever car they're driving over to the cannon where Bowser is. Tolstar, the big walking puffing thing, blocks their path. He is talking to Bowser.

"Well, if it isn't Bowser of... uh..." Tolstar looked at a tree. "Treeland, kidnapping princess..." This time, Tolstar looked at a landfill. "Landfillington!" Bowser replied with "That is the lamest thing I ever heard." A random Toad walks buy. "Should I try again?" Tolstar asked the RT. "YES!" The Toad responded. So, Tolstar decided to think of some other villains.

"Well, if it isn't Ganondorf of Hyrule, kidnapping princess Zelda all of the time!"

"YOUR'E ALL IDIOTS!" Bowser exclaims, while setting everything on FIYAH! Err, I mean fire, but whatever. "Waiiit... that means that the cannon's set off, right?" Of course, the cannon blows, and everything gets destroyed in some sort of fire. Bowser lands in a forest far away from here. Bowser Junior enters.

"Didn't my name used to be Baby Bowser before Nintendo changed it?" Bowser Junior asked. Tolstar was amazed at his stupidity. "OH MY GOSH! I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW STUPID YOU ARE! NOW, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE SPIKEY SHELL GUY NAMED RIDLEY?"

"It's Bowser, and he landed over there in that forest."

"You mean the Chucklechuk Woods?" Tolstar asked. "DUH! There's no other forest in this country!" Bowser exclaimed. Tolstar, however, is confused and is holding out a map of Canada. "Yes there is! Just look at this map. See, there's a forest and there are other forests called Sudbury and Winnipeg and Moose Factory and other Canadian cities that I won't mention here and blah blah blah..."

Meanwhile, in Mario and Luigi's VW Phaeton, the car is parked on a curb and they are watching the Mushroom Kingdom Presidential Election. "Well, currently, the voting results are..." A screen with the candidates appears, showing that Ash Ketchum is in the lead. Mario is angry. "WHAT? HOW COULD THAT IDIOT BE WINNING! His stance on the economy is "I EAT FLYING FLIES THAT GO SOUTHWEST!" and stuff. Tolstar walks up to their car.

"HELLO! HELLO!" Tolstar is saying while banging on the side of the car. He accidentally pushes it down the cliff, but for some reason, the car isn't getting destroyed. Inside the car, they're still watching the presidential election. "And in this race, it all comes down to OHIO, OHIO, OHIO. Oh, wait, it looks like the prefecture of (insert prefecture here) has now gone to the Namco Party. We're live at the headquarters where Pac-Man and the running mate are going to make a victory speech."

Pac-Man is speaking uncomprehensible words. "Where's the translator?" asked running mate Lloyd Irving.

Meanwhile, the car is rolling back up the hill. When it gets up on the hill, they leave and find Tolstar. "THIS ISN'T A GAME, MARIO SISTERS! IT'S REAL LIFE!" And, so, a fight starts. "I'm going to throw this spiky ball thing at you, so YOU BETTER GET HURT!" Tolstar throws the spiky thing, and that makes Mario turn into Kirby. He eats Tolstar and says some resturant slogan. "Da da da da da, I'm lovin' it!"

Luigi is amazed. "HOW DID YOU TURN INTO KIRBY?"

"Well, I'm not just any normal Mario; I'm the Mighty Morphin' Power Mario! DUN DUN DUN!" Luigi makes a face (--). Obviously, Mario decides to make another face (QQ). Luigi makes another face ( E), and Mario makes yet another face (21). Then, he realizes something. "Why are we making random, un-makingable faces?" he asked. But before that question was answered, a large, circular shadow looms over them. "Have you ever seen a cookie take a bite out of YOU?" It was one of the evil cookies from the commercial! Luigi answered the question. "Only in New Mexico, home of the evil mascot cookie for the Albuquerque bocce ball team, the Donuts!"

Of course, Mario turns into Kirby and eats the evil cookie. "Don't start with the Mighty Morphin' Power Mario crap," Luigi reminded him.

With Tolstar defeated and Bowser somewhere in Chucklechuk Woods, Mario and Luigi can finally leave. For some reason, the car they were in didn't change. "Why..." Mario was about to ask before Luigi interrupted him. "Well, if Y x t5 x the circumference of a dishwasher, our car didn't change because a dishwasher ate my cousin, Igiul."

They drive the car back down to the village, only to have is escorted back to the entrance.

"What did YOU do with Prince Peasley? If you want to help, call the 'I Want to Help Find Prince Peasley' hotline at (1)-800-555-555-555-555-3948-32489-0887-BREAD-STICKS!" Some random guy holding a ficus plant walks in. "I can help, I speak phone. BEEP!" Soldier 1 just stares at him, and throws some stairs at him.

Of course, the stairs were filled with angel dust things. The random guy turns into Mithos Yggdrasill. Then, the capitol of Vermont falls on him. Meanwhile, everyone is just staring at it, and throwing stairs at it because it's a pun. Within a few days, Mithos was put back in his video game, and the capitol of Vermont flew back to that state. The story now proceeds as normal.

"We're the Mario Brothers! We jump on Goombas and have to rescue, save, liberate, et cetera Peach from some evil thing or things." Soldier 2 wants them to prove it, so the two brothers jump. "See! We introduced jumping to the masses in 1981 with the release of Donkey Kong!"

The soldiers are confusing Mario with the green guy. "Is that the name of the green guy?" Soldier 2 asked. "No, I'm the world famous Luigi!" the green guy replied.

The two soldiers are confusing his name with British "bafrooms" and birds invented in Canada. Luigi falls on his face.

"Well, it's true; you two are the real Mario brothers. Go ahead." Mario inquired on who the kidnapper was. "Well, it was some weird green dude who talked about mustards and fink-rats. He was also writing a biography on one of his family members."

Meanwhile, in the place known as "Wherever Fawful Is," Fawful is writing a book on one of his family members... his toothbrush.

"Eeyah heh heh heh heh!" Cackletta did her traditional laugh. "What are you doing?"

"Well, of looking at well how doing biography toothbrush mine of. Of every country United Kingdom except selling well in it is!" Fawful said, doing his traditional garbling of the words. "You wrote a biography about your toothbrush? That is the craziest idea I ever heard!" Cackletta replied.

"Of toothbrush missing I am, which and loving getting 1979 since summer." Fawful soon began crying.

Cackletta was grossed out. "EEEW! That's just gross! You're supposed to throw out your toothbrush every few months!"

Back in Hoohoo Village, the Mario Bros. haven't progressed very far because we would be missing out on stuff if we were still on the previous scene. A villager walks by. "Hey, Mario guy, what happened to Prince Peasley?"

"Who is Prince Peasley?" Mario asked. "What's a villager?" Luigi asked.

The villager ignored their questions. "Well, he went up to the top of the mountain on Blablanadon!"

Meanwhile, on the top of that mountain, Peasley is inside an egg, and is currently in the process of mutating to another creature. "Help me! I think I'm turning into a female person, I think!" Peasley exclaimed, trying to break the egg open. However, he is not mutating into a female person. "GWARGH AND STUFFNESS!" he said, beginning the mutating process.

Now, we go back to the village for the nine thousandth time. "Let's get out of this horrible village!" They are about to run away, but one villager makes a big mistake. "EWW! AN UGLYFUL STATUE!" the villager says, pushing it off the cliff. "Now we can't leave!" Mario said.

Luigi thought of a brilliant idea. "Well, we should be able to jump off of that mountain!"

"But we can't! It's because of all of those programmers! And the physics of the game prevent us from doing that!" said Mario. Luigi was furious, so he gets out a book called "Beanbean Kingdom Tour Guide for Dummies" on how to get around it.

"It says here that if we want good-quality radios, we should visit the Hammerhead Brothers."

"Why aren't they called the Radiohead Brothers?" Mario inquired. "Because they would hail thieves," Luigi replied.

So the Mario Bros. travel up the mountain, and after doing so, enters the house of the Hammerhead Brothers. They were arguing on using some type of marble-y thing from that country with the Romes and the colosseums and the Popes and the... you get the point. It's called Italy.

"Hey, why do you guys make radios?" Mario asked.

"Well, all of the rocks in this kingdom are scared of gospel music. When they hear it, they just run away," said Sledge.

We now cut to some church in the Beanbean Kingdom. A choir inside the church is singing gospel music. Some rocks oustide of the church are getting scared.

"MY EARS! THEY BURN!" Rock said.

"Why did we decide to live near a church?" Another Rock asked.

Rock answered that question. "Well, we have to blame Some Rock for that idea."

"Um, instead of arguing, LET'S RUN LIKE HELL OUTTA HERE!" Some Rock said. All of the rocks were fleeing the church.

Back at the Hammerhead Bros. house, Mario was asking if they could make radios for the Mario Brothers. "Well, we'll need a Hoohoo Block, but then we can make it." Mallet said.

They leave the house, only to find that the bridge is being re-constructed with... olive oil. "Great! Now the bridge is under construction!" Mario said angrily.

"Well, you have to blame Bridge Guy 2 for hiring an OLIVE OIL company for doing the construction," Bridge Guy 1 said. Bridge Guy 2 doesn't know what to say. "Um, bye!" He and the other bridge guys jump off the bridge.

"So, does that mean we'll have to wait for the next chapter?" the Mario Brothers asked in unison. "YES! YES! YESITY YES!" Announcer exclaimed.

THE REVIEWS SECTION DEMANDS SACRIFICES... I MEAN REVIEWS!  
****

-The NessSnorlax


	4. The War Against Dragohoho, Fawful's Biog...

**Mario and Luigi: Crazystar Saga**

**By NessSnorlax**

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, like everyone that writes fanfiction for Mario.

**Chapter 4: The War Against Dragohoho, Fawful's Biography, and Evil Christmas Trees

* * *

**The Mario Brothers are now heading up Hoohoo Mountain, after the Bridge Guys came back to life and re-built the bridge out of frozen turkeys. However, after going up the mountain a few centimetres, they realized that they forgot to do something.

Mario was looking at a Player's Guide for Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga. He realized that they forgot to do something. "MAMMA MIA! According to this official Nintendo's Player Guide for the game this fanfic is based on, we forgot to learn our high and spin jump techniques."

A flying cape **_that has no body and is just flying by itself_** is flying near the Mario Brothers. "GASP! It's the Magical Flying Cape of the ancient ruins of Zkjnfdsoifboisfbseoiufboirefbyresvgyfb!" Luigi exclaimed. "With that, we will learn every technique that we would have learned in every Mario game released... EVER!"

And so, the cape of the random gibberish place that I typed randomly on my keyboard casts a magic spell on Luigi and Mario. They learn every technique in every Mario game released... ever. Oh, and all of the future ones, too. "Woohoo!" Mario says.

Let's check on Fawful now. He is at a Barnes and Noble bookstore in New York City, signing copies of, you guessed it, his biography on his toothbrush. "Well, lines of long being it is," Fawful says, amazed at the long line stretching for city blocks. The line is so long; it stretches through the Atlantic Ocean, and for some odd reason (not), abruptly stops at the United Kingdom.

Cackletta enters. "EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH! Fawful, we have to go to the Empire State Building, NOW!" After she said that, however, everyone in the whole line ran across the street. "Of looking now you did what, Cackletta!" Fawful said angrily.

"Uh, no, look across the street, 'smart' one." They look across the street to find that the Duane Reade over there has a huge banner outside saying "FREE SNACKS TO STEAL!" Some random people are saying stuff. "Snacks are good!" Bob said.

Sarah, the other random people mentioned here, saw something. "Look! Over there!" she exclaimed. Outside of the PBS station WNET, a huge banner outside says "FREE BROADCASTING EQUIPMENT TO STEAL!"

"OMG! I need that to start my new television channel, the Cackletta Network!"

Fawful asked what kinds of shows it would have. "Oh, well, it would have hit shows such as 'Cackletta Night Live', 'Late Night with Cackletta O'Brien', and 'Cackletta Idol'." Cackletta replied. "Of shows real existing, but the name yours replacing 'Saturday', 'Conan', and '(insert country here. It could be American, Canadian, German, Antarctican, etc.)'." Cackletta was angry. "THEY ARE NOT REAL SHOWS! I MADE THEM UP! THEY DO NOT EXIST! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!"

Meanwhile, over in the Beanbean Kingdom, Mario forgot what they were supposed to do. However, Luigi knew. "I think we have to go to the top of that mount-tain and defeat the boss guy."

"Well, what's the name of the boss guy?" Mario asked. "Uh, I don't know! I left the guide in the car!" Luigi exclaimed, pointing to the car at the bottom of the mountain.

"Next time, PUT THE CAR IN YOUR SUITCASE AND CARRY IT UP THE MOUNTAIN! Oh, whatever, let's just climb up Death Mountain."

The director notices the mistake, and says "CUT! Take two!"

"Let's just climb up Chimney Mountain."

"CUT! Take three!"

"Let's just climb up Mount Everest."

A few hours later, they're still doing this. Luigi fell asleep, and random people built and completed a monument to Fawful's toothbrush.

"CUT! Take four thousand one hundred eighty six!"

"Let's just climb up Santa Claus Lane."

"CUT! Take four thousand one hundred eighty seven!"

"Let's just climb up Mount Bob."

"CUT! Take four thousand one hundred eighty eight!"

"Let's just climb up Hoohoo Mountain."

"**_FINALLY!_** You get your lines right," the director said. "Now, since I don't need to be here, I'm going to disappear in a cloud of smoky things. And so, the director disappears in a cloud of smoky things, which contains things I will not mention.

Changing the subject, Luigi decided to say something. "You know, we need to decorate this mountain for Christmas!"

"Let's get the 'Queer Eye' guys to do it!" Mario said, mainly because he didn't give a crap about decorating a mountain. Then, the theme from the Queer Eye show starts playing, a black GMC comes in, and the 'Queer Eye' guys start to decorate the mountain with furniture and other crap. Mario comments on the situation. "There's no need to teach a mountain about culture and food."

Then, the mountain came to life. "Mario, you're hallucinating! I eat tons and tons of rocky things every day! Lalalala..." Then, the mountain runs away, destroying the village nearby. "Uh... that was very, very strange. That was the strangest thing I have ever seen. Strange, strange..." Luigi interrupted Mario. "...let's guess, Strange. Strange, full of strange. What are you talking about, anyway?"

Mario told Luigi the story of how the mountain came to life and destroyed the surrounding area. "Well, good thing that was just one of your crazy hallucinations, Mario." Luigi said. "Or else, the whole world, and many others, would be doomed! Not even the capitol of Vermont could stop it in its tracks!"

For no apparent reason, it starts to snow heavily. The Mario Brothers see a fountain in front of them. "What's this fountain for?" Luigi asked.

There is a sign on top of it. It says "HOW TO USE BLOATWATER. STEP 1: HAVE MARIO GO IN THE FRONT. STEP 2: GO UP TO A FIRE STATUE THING. STEP 3: HAVE LUIGI JUMP ON MARIO'S HEAD. STEP 4: WATER PUTS OUT THE FIRE STATUE THING. STEP 5: FIRE GOES OUT. STEP 6: STATUE TURNS RED. STEP 7: TORNADO FORMS."

"Did we really need to get _that _descriptive?" Mario asked. The sign, because it couldn't talk, didn't respond.

So, the Mario Brothers do what the sign says and travel to the very top of the mountain. It was a long hike, but it was worth it because they had no other choice except to get stuck there and not progress any further in the game (in this case, fanfic).

At the top of the Mountain, Luigi saw Blablanadon. "LOOK! It's Blablanadon! It's the thing with the thing that flies up to the mountain to get the round thing and goes..." After that point, Luigi just said incomprehensible gibberish that no one would understand. Blablanadon was suprised to see the Bros. "OMG! The Mario Sisters! It's Mario and... some green guy who's name I don't know because he is not famous! NOT FAMOUS!" Luigi, who is tired of everyone in Beanbean not knowing his name, screamed "IT'S LUIGI, LU-IG-I! HOW HARD IS IT TO REMEMBER?"

Blablanadon just stares at Luigi. "Okay, Mario and Loo, I was keeping the egg warm and decorating the mountain for Christmas, which is tommorow, at the date this chapter was written and uploaded to !" Mario responded. "That's crazy! I'm Mario Mario," he said, impersonating the 'Brian Fellow's Safari Planet' sketch on Saturday Night Live. "Besides, I hired the 'Queer Eye' guys, and they do a better job than you."

The egg that Blablanadon was sitting on is starting to hatch. "Oh, look, the egg..."

"Uh, I told that to the readers already," said Announcer. "Look, Announcer, you don't have to dictate everyone's life!" Blablanadon said angrily.

"Actually, yes I have to, or else the readers won't know what you're doing. Now, let's get back to the main plot." The egg has many more cracks in it than before. After it hatches completely, Dragohoho comes out of it. "It's-a-me, Dragohoho!"

Mario is furious that another video game character stole his line. The Mario Brothers and Dragohoho enter a fight.

However, there is one slight problem. "Uh, what are my attacks?" Dragohoho asks, to noone in particular. Fortunately for Mario, he doesn't care, because he turned into Kirby and ate Dragohoho, ending the battle.

Inside Kirby Mario's stomach, Dragohoho turns into Peasley. KM was feeling sick and threw up Peasley, and a lot of vomit. "You know, I almost turned into female! It was SCARY!" Peasley said. Apparently, he's afraid of women.

"That's nice, but can you do what you normally do?" So, Peasley did what he normally did: Flick his hair back, which produced a light that would be the brightest light that you had ever seen. It's so shiny, it makes Dragohoho come back alive again. "I'm ALIVE!" he said, boasting that fact proudly to the audience.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, weren't you Peasley?" Mario asked Dragohoho.

Dragohoho gave out a large gasp. "YOU'RE RIGHT! I ALMOST FORGOT!" Then, Dragohoho produced an explosion that was so large that it would be the most explodiest explosion that you had ever seen.

Peasley gets back on the subject. "Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Well, I have to get back to the castle, since I forgot what I was going to say and stuff."

At the bottom of the mountain, the Hammerhead Bros. are slamming into the side of the mountain. It cracks, and the Hoohoo Block falls off.

Meanwhile, Peasley hasn't left yet because his flying cushion hasn't arrived. Then, it appeared. "Uh, I was... um... watching a foreign film. Yeah." What Peasley's flying cushion was actually doing was giving anti-hyperactivity potions to certain people, because it was evil. However, it didn't tell anyone that. Peasley gets on the cushion and leaves. Blablanadon flies back down to the bottom, leaving Mario and Luigi as the only two people remaining.

"Now what?" Mario asked. "I guess we go back and find our guide. That's what I'd do," Luigi said. And so, they walked down the mountain, hoping to get their player's guide.

* * *

**Um...**** Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from NessSnorlax! Well, or it would be when this chapter was first published.**

**-The NessSnorlax.**


	5. We're Not Going to be Bothered to Go Any...

**Mario and Luigi: Crazystar Saga**

**By NessSnorlax**

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, like everyone that writes fanfiction for Mario.

* * *

**Chapter 5: We're Not Going to be Bothered to Go Anywhere Today**

"We defeated the final boss!" Mario exclaimed. Then, the end credits appear. Then, a slide saying "The End" appears. Of course, it's the...

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Luigi exclaimed. "No, it is NOT the end! It's only the fifth chapter, and we haven't gotten down Hoohoo Mountain yet!" Mario thought of a great idea. "WELL, NOW WE HAVE!" They jump down the mountain and land near their car. All of a sudden, Kamek appears.

"Hi! I ate your Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga guide, because I needed breakfast and couldn't find any Waffle Mouse locations!" Kamek said. "OH NO! Not Waffle House!" Mario exclaimed.

"Don't worry, there aren't any Waffle House locations around here... wait, he said Waffle Mouse?" Luigi asked.

"Well, I don't know what Waffle Mouse is!"

"And now, its time for..." Kamek said, but ends up in a bug net. A zookeeper is nearby. "YAY! I caught a flying hippo! It flies and is a hippo and (insert Latin name here) and blah blah blah..." He sees Mario and Luigi. "OM-GUH! It's Mario and the British Bathroom!"

Luigi, of course, is angry. "It's LUIGI! L-U-I-G-I! HOW HARD IS THAT TO SAY? HUH!"

"Ohm y gosh! I met a character from The Simpsons!"

Luigi stared. "Uh, no, it's the Luigi from the MARIO games!" "Whatever," said the Zookeeper. "Now, I'll take this flying hippo back to my lair... on the 45th floor of the Empire State Building! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And with this, farewell!" Zookeeper jumps out of a window and disappears in a cloud of smoky things. Trust me, you don't wanna know what's in there.

"Well, at least we know where it is when we need to defeat him," Mario said.

Okay. Now, let's see what Fawful and Cackletta are doing. Both of them are still in New York.

"HAH! Of broadcasting equipment getting have I Cackletta before!" Fawful boasted, while running outside a building. "Now, taking empty of building will I!" He points to a building with a banner hanging outside of it that says:

"FREE BUILDING. CALL (212) 555-SMB3 AND PAY 20 TO OWN THE BUILDING!" Of course, he calls the number and pays twenty dollars to own the building for free.

"Next of and, Fawful Broadcasting Company starting will I!"

Cackletta appears out of nowhere, and, of course, does her traditional laugh. "EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH! I'll give you fairy dust for that equipment!" she offered to Fawful.

"NO! Of equipment broadcasting turkey needing it I for!"

So, for some reason, Cackletta just leaves and goes to a store called the "New York City Fireplace Depot."

"HEY, look, it's probably a crappy Super Nintendo game," said Cackletta. The "crappy" Super Nintendo game is Chrono Trigger. The working person heard her, beat her up, and gained 8675309 experience points, and grew five levels to level five.

Of course, for the purposes of this fic, Cackletta is revived so Mario and Luigi actually have a villain to defeat. That means the working person beat her up again, and Cackletta kept being revived again, and the cycle repeated.

That is, until Announcer appeared and threw Working Person into the Magic Happy Evil Bake-and-Shake Swirly Pit of Doom, where he lost a life and ended up in a fictional kingdom, called France.

Meanwhile, the Mario Bros. got their radios. They were about to leave, until...

"OOH! This looks tasty!" Luigi exclaimed, and ate the radio. Mario just stared at him in confusion. "You idiot!" he said. "You're supposed to use it for scaring away rocks!"

"Aww, but it was made out of sugar and tasted like cappuccino mocha latte flavoured red meat, the kind PETA hates."

Mario just stared in confusion. So did other people, because no one knows what a "cappuccino mocha latte flavoured red meat" is.

So, the Mario Bros. go back up Hoohoo Mountain to find another radio. "We're going..." Luigi said, but was interrupted.

"THEY ALREADY KNOW THAT! Why does everyone repeat what I say?" Announcer asked.

"Well, in normal fanfics, the characters aren't supposed to break the fourth wall. But, like the Berlin Wall, we tore it down and we can now do whatever the hell we want!" Mario said, as he ate forty super mushrooms, turned his feet into rocket boosters, all while dancing on the top of the Kremlin, eating a Tupolev airplane and turning his hat into a reality show. Announcer was amazed, and said that it was the best damn fourth-wall breakage ever. Using the magic powers of what the text says, everything returns to normal.

"You better not eat another radio, or I'll call you Loo from now on!" Mario said angrily.

"Okay, okay, I swear I'll never eat another radio again." Luigi said in a scared tone.

So, the Mario Brothers go back up the mountain and find a helipad, something they haven't seen before because it wasn't in the game. "What game?" Luigi asked.

Of course, I'm going to ignore what he said.

"No, seriously, what game?"

Luigi, I suggest you be quiet or I'm going to call you Loo from now on. Anyway, we were at a helipad before Luigi kept on asking questions. They go inside the helicopter that was parked there.

"There should be a radio in here! Aha! There it is!" Mario said, pointing to the helicopter radio. He hopped up onto the right seat, took a crowbar that was on the floor, and was using it go force the radio out. Luigi, however, came up with a better idea.

"I know! How about we just fly it instead?"

"Uhh, Luigi, all we needed was a radio, and one that is too big to fit in your mouth!"

Luigi doesn't listen to Mario's idea, and starts up the plane. It hovers off the ground a little bit, but just won't go any higher. Luigi tries harder, and it finally goes up. However, the helipad is attached to it.

"Was this attached to something?" Luigi asked. A sign outside read "YES IT IS!"

"Well, that said something." Mario said, surprised that an inanimate object talked.

For some reason, the helicopter is going faster than normal. Now, they are flying over China. It knocked down part of the Great Wall, which soon regenerated itself afterwards. Luigi was weirded out, while Mario was complaning that he wanted to land the plane.

A few seconds later, they're flying over Italy. They hit the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and it goes straight. The tourists and regular people are cheering. Eventually, Luigi ends up in Manhattan, where the helipad hits Cackletta in the head.

"Damn those flying helipads! I mean EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

Eventually, the string that the helipad is attached to falls off of the helicopter, seding it going into the place below. Luigi lands the helicopter in the same place where they started.

"Wait... where did the helipad go?" Mario asked.

The helipad ended up in the Hoohoo Commercial District, where all the store places are. The manager of the Snacks Fifth Avenue looks up into the sky, where he sees the helipad falling.

"Why does this part have to be ON A BRIDGE?"

"Every part of the village is on a bridge, idiot!" the Hoohoo Dental Manager responded.

"Well, who cares, we're going to fall to our very beautiful and doomtastic doom!" exclaimed the owner of the Anime Store, while running around panicking.

Of course, the helipad collides into the bridge, bringing doom to the land. The Snacks Fifth Avenue lands on top of the FIREFOX television station. For some reason, the owner is on the roof, saying random things.

"It begins..."

No one ever knew what he meant, and it would never, ever be revealed, ever.

Meanwhile, the Betamax tapes, VHS tapes, 8-Track tapes, cassete tapes, Sega tapes, and data tapes fall out from the anime store onto the bridge below. "Look at all of the tapes! Inuyasha, Sonic, Futurama..." a Bean Guy said. However, he realized that something wasn't right.

"...waiiiit, Futurama, although a funny show, is not anime! That store is a rip-off! THEY LIED TO ALL OF HOOHOO VILLAGE!"

But what about the third store, the Hoohoo Dental? Well, stuff fell out of that too. A lot of dental equipment fell out and hit another Bean Guy on the head.

"DAMN YOU DENTAL EQUIPMENT!" He exclaimed, but then opened a parasol umbrella. Bean Guy put it above his head, and the dental equipment flew in random directions, destroying mountains and vital game places. "Yes! Now, my head is bruise-free, thanks to the Mega-Repel-a-Sol (patent pending)!"

In all of this mess, the Mario Bros. are being ignored. Right now, they are headed towards Castle Town.

"Weren't we supposed to go to Beanbean Castle Town?" Mario asked. "Yes, we were." Luigi responded.

So, they jump down the mountain. They notice a statue, and try to scare it away... but nothing happens, because unlike rocks, statues are unaffected by gospel music. The Mario Brothers wonder what to do, until...

"How about we use the hammer!" Luigi said.

Of course, Mario didn't like that idea. "Uh, Luigi, you do realize that this isn't the real game and we use radios to scare away rocks?"

So, they went back to wondering what to do. Mario pulled out the radio, and put on a country music station.

"This is BZAP 88.5, the country music station for this part of some kingdom with a food name! Now, it's some song that the author doesn't know the name to because he or she doesn't like country music by Dolly Parton!"

On the radio, any song by Dolly Parton starts and the statue runs away. "Oh god/goddess/supreme being, evil music!" it said while running away.

After the statue ran away, the Mario Bros. are finally going down the mountain. "You know, I wonder what will happen for the 1000th anniversary of Mario Party." Mario said.

"Well, we're not going to be around that long, so don't worry about it." Luigi responded.

A thousand years later, Luigi and Mario are still alive because they're fictional video game characters. Hanging on two hovering lamp posts is a banner that reads "MARIO PARTY 1006th anniversary. Bring cake. Oh, and the letter "I" because someone in this fic hates it!"

"MAMMA MIA! You're right! It's the 1006th anniversary, not the 1000th!" Mario said, panicking and running around in circles, causing mailellogram boxes and barcazoids to disappear.

"You know, six years don't really make a big difference, but it's more important if it were the 1000th! I mean, more people would come and bring their ancient artifacts known as Nintendo 64 games!" Luigi said.

* * *

**In the next chapter, they actually go down the mountain.**

**The FIREFOX TV station has nothing to do with the browser.**

Whatchamacallit: Well, Paper Mario 2 wasn't released when the chapter was uploaded.

**-The NessSnorlax.**


	6. Goin' Down the Mountain

**Mario and Luigi: Crazystar Saga**

**By NessSnorlax**

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, like everyone that writes fanfiction for Mario.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Goin' Down the Mountain**

Of course, all was well in the Beanbean Kingdom, until something horrible happened. The Mario Bros. were going down the mountain, and realized that they DON'T HAVE A CAR!

"First, we need a car. Specifically, a SUV, so we can drive over rocks without listening to gospel music!" Mario exclaimed.

"That's true," Luigi said, agreeing with his brother.

So, the Mario Bros. are walking until they reach a car dealership that the villagers call "Outer Hoohoo Mountain Ford-Maserati." Luigi is jumping for joy and literally runs, jumps, and skips into the main building, but Mario is just standing there, looking confused.

"That is the weirdest, strangest, most unrealistic car dealership later."

Luigi, already in the building, is greeted by a salesman, whom we will call Salesman. "Hi! How can I help you! How about buying this Ford Thundercougarfirefalconjettasorrentotouraegdelsolcivicxabeetleplaystationbird?"

A random beanperson in the dealership hears this. "The Playstation is not the name of any car!"

"WHO CARES?"

Mario comes in. "I'm here to buy a car!"

"I know that, why else would you be here?" Salesman asks.

"To buy toothbrushes for my toothbrush cannon!"

"Well, if you want toothbrushes, there's a store conveniently located right next to here that has toothbrushes!" Salesman points in the direction of the store, called "The Toothbrush and 19th Century Cannon Store."

"Wow... how convenient!" Mario then leaves the car dealership and proceeds to go to the store.

While everyone was talking, Luigi was walking around, looking at cars. He saw one that caught his eye.

"That, my friend," Salesperson explained, "is a used Hesse Motor-Cardboard Factory Concern Der Funfzig. It has a cost of 100 million coins. And as you can see, this car has five seats, monitors in the seats, steering wheel, door, wheels, radio, roof, and license plate holding area. Plus, as a free bonus, it comes with your own Wal-Mart store, complete with monitors as the floor tiles." Luigi was getting bored of Salesperson's rant, and falls asleep on the floor.

"And we can't forget the best part: there are **FOURTEEN** Xboxes to go along with all your 15,492 monitors! And you can even watch TEE VEE!" Salesperson turn on all of the monitors, and they are displaying a television program(me).

"And now, President Pac-Man of the Mushroom Kingdom and vice-President Lloyd Irving are going to make a speech thing dealy," said the newsguy. The monitors are now showing the podium where Pac-Man and Lloyd are.

Of course, Pac-Man makes a speech, but no one understands it. Since the media has no idea what he's talking about, they start asking Lloyd questions.

"What is your stance on the environment and the oil drillings in Asmashka?"

"How are you going to outsource jobs to call centres in India and/or Pakistan?"

"When are you going to make another Sheelos fanfic?"

Of course, Lloyd didn't understand this at all, especially the words "environment," "Pakistan," and "to." His response was to run off to a house, yelling "I CAN'T TAKE IT!" while dashing through the streets in Toad Town.

The screen now goes back to the newsguy, who is now drunk. "Ahahahahahah! That's funny! And now... hic and now... it is an _esplosion_ of a _boblical_ preprotion! Oh... hic that's **_funny!_** And now... and now... this weirdo Mithos Ygg... ygg... **_WINDOWSILL_**... he goes making a _sporch_!" Newsguy then spins around in his chair, falling off the balcony that he's on. He still thinks he's spinning, though.

On the stage, Mithos Yggdrasill makes a speech. "Give me the chosen! MuwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH**AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"**He still makes a demonic laugh that freaks out everybody, including Salesman. He then turns off the 15,492 monitors.

Back at the dealership, everyone just stares at him, except Luigi, who is still asleep. Salesman then resumes his duties. "So, Luigi, as you can see, it has the things I mentioned, but ABSOLUTELY NO freaky angel people!" At this point, Salesman realizes that Luigi is asleep. He then pokes him in the arm, which doesn't make him respond.

Then, Salesman pokes Luigi in the eye. This time, he responded by waking up. "Ow! My precious eye! My beautiful, beautiful, 3-D eye!" Luigi then runs around the car dealership, scaring the random villagers and making them hide in the cars and furniture.

After Luigi's rampage of pain, he goes outside and finds a car that he seems to like a lot. "I think I'm going to buy this one. It's only two coins!"

Of course, Salesman appears out of nowhere to give an explanation of the car. "Oh, good choice! As you can see, this car has a piece of paper with an engine drawn on it, the radio is actually a chunk of rock made to look like a radio, and the mirrors are actually Reynolds-Wrap tinfoil. It's mirror-tastic!"

"I'LL TAKE IT!" Luigi exclaims in his highest voice. Salesman hands him the key to the car, and Luigi goes inside.

Luigi is very excited, and starts the car. However, it only goes a few inches, and then it stops and collapses. "Eh... well, I can still sell it back!"

Unfortunately for Luigi, the car dealership collapses. "Oh, crap!"

Meanwhile, Mario has spent all of his time at the toothbrush and cannon store, pacing around it for a few hours. Mario finally talks to the salesman. "You see, I need a toothbrush that is smart and witty, but fierce and hard."

"Wow, you must really like brushing your teeth!" the salesguy replied.

"No, not really. I need it for my toothbrush cannon I'm making."

"Oh, okay."

Mario purchases the toothbrush that is handed to him, and leaves the store. Luigi is still outside of the car dealership, waiting for Mario.

"Did you get a car?" Mario asked.

"Well..." Luigi said, "... it depends on your definition of car."

"A car is another word for the letter five!"

"Uh... MAMMA-MIA! It's a Goomba?"

Luigi was right; it was a Goomba! Not the car, though. "HEY! I'm waiting for people NOT to..." Before the Goomba could finish, however, Mario jumped on its head and got 100 points. Or he would of, had the game that this fic was parodying be Super Mario Bros.

"No, seriously Luigi, did you get the car?"

"I tried to, but since I tried to eat the radio, the car collapsed."

"Do you even know where our other car is?"

"No! If I did, wouldn't most of this chapter not exist?"

"Well, I sure need a new Rolls-Royce because..." When Mario said "Rolls-Royce," that kind of car magically appeared. "OMG! A car! How did it happen?" Luigi said, still surprised.

They both got in the car, and drove down a highway. Of course, the gospel music radio station was on really loudly, so all of the rocks would get out of the way (obviously). However, this creates a problem, as most of them run _onto_ the highway, which means CERTAIN DOOM FOR THE MARIO BROTHERS!

"No, it doesn't. There is such a thing as "walking," you know. Ah, well, I'll just put the car in my pocket." Mario then takes the car and somehow puts it in his pocket.

Luigi, who is easily amazed by _anything_, asked "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?"

"Well, this is a fanfic based off of a video game, and in video games, anything is possible. Well, as long as it's programmed, but then you can use an ACTION REPLAY!"

"Speaking of video games, the best video game ever made is the one where you play as the president of Mexico!" Luigi boasted.

Mario just stared at him, not knowing of any game like that. "I'm sure it isn't."

So, the Mario Bros. are now walking down the mountain, after finding another path around all of the rocks. After actually REACHING the place they needed to go, they enter a cave. It has two mine carts, which is good because there are two main characters.

Mario was amazed. "Look! Mine carts! They're funktastically delicious! Orangey orange, purpley purple, and strawberry strawberryness! Part of a complete box of **CHOCOLATE** Lucky Charms!"

"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Luigi asked while staring at his brother in confusion.

Then, of course, Mario does everyone's favourite thing: make random faces. His first face: O.o.X.B.Z.-.-.A.X.E.T.B.C.XS.s.x.Y.

"And your point is...?"

Mario's next face: F.I.R.E.E.M.B.L.E.M.I.S.V.E.R.Y.F.U.N.!

"While that face actually makes sense, exactly HOW are you making them?"

Okay... since Mario is acting all strange and freaky, let's see what Fawful and Cackletta are doing. They are in New York, the same place they were in a few hours ago.

"Now, making must of I sure that network my watch people infrared network evil instead that of, crappy huge calendar network that being broadcasted on TV huge mega-giant there up!" Fawful said, still saying random gibberish that no one can understand. Fawful is currently outside the ABC headquarters there, pacing around the lot, and reading a newspaper called "The Newspaper News." The main headline is "ADIL EXTREMELY GLAD THAT FANFICTION DOT NET NOW HAS ALBANIAN LANGUAGE UPLOADS!" and another headline is "HOW TO MAKE ASS-KICKING GRAHAM CRACKERS!"

On the TV, the ABC Nooze is on, specifically the show "World News Tomorrow."

"I'm Brock Kentman for World News Tomorrow," Brock said. "Today's big story, besides the Mushroom Kingdom presidential inaugural-dealy (which we all saw with the weird angel freak), is that video game characters are staging a massive protest outside the Nintendo headquarters in Kyoto, Japan, Redmond, Washington, and that place in some European place. We go live to Jennings Peter, where he's going to interview the star of a video game that most people have never heard about, Ness Lee of EarthBound fame."

"Well, Ness, what do you think about this situation with the bathrooms?" Jennings asks.

"When the Super Nintendo or GameBoy Advance/Nintendo DS is turned off," Ness explained "what do we do? We do whatever we want, but when we go to the bathroom, we have to GO IN THE BUSHES because there ARE NO BATHROOMS!"

"But aren't there bathrooms in your game?"

"Technically, yes, but they are all occupied by random lines of text! In fact, the only known video game with bathrooms is The Sims series, but it's a real-life-like simulator, so it's logical to include them!"

Fawful then made a bold statement, and actually speaking in a regular voice: "I want the TV station to become a major network, so I HAVE FURY ACROSS THE U.S.A.!"

Meanwhile, Mario is _still_ making random, un-makingable faces. This time, his face is: E.A.R.T.H.B.O.U.N.D.C.A.M.E.O.U.T.I.N.1.9.9.5.!

"Wow, in advancement in faces you can't make technology, Mario can now display NUMBERS on his face!"

Luigi, although still amazed by everything, throws Mario into a mine cart. Luigi goes into the opposite mine cart and they start some mini-game.

**_IT'S MINI-GAME TIME! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!_**

Er... not really. The mine carts end up going to fast to get such treasures as batteries. The carts go so fast, they end up outside and crash into a... cryogenics chamber, of all things.

"Why would THAT be out there?" Luigi asked. "Cryogenics isn't even possible yet! Or is it...?"

Mario is still in face-making mode. What face is he making? THIS ONE: W.H.O.R.E.A.L.L.Y.C.A.R.E.S.?

Luigi just sighs, and then procedes to tie the chamber to his back and drag it with him. A few minutes later, the Bros. were walking around and one of the rocks from the highway above hit Mario on the head because it was fed up with hearing gospel music, of course. Luigi just stays there, waiting for his brother to wake up.

Mario woke up... a few hours later. "That was weird! I was dreaming that I was flying all over the place in a racoon outfit, flying around and stomping on all the tiny little Goombas!"

"That's because it all really happened, back in the early 1990's! Don't you remember your own video games?"

"Yeah, I remember the 1990's very well," Mario reminisced. "Back then, I used to eat piń... oh, I mean ņ... no, make that ñ... YES! I used to eat piñatas for breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch, luinner, dinnakfast, dinnert, scrunch, munch, and dessert."

"Uh, Mario, at least more than HALF of those meals don't exist!" Luigi pointed out.

Mario ignored him. "Well, what are we supposed to do next?"

"Duh! Go down the mountain to Castle Town! Geez, can't Nintendo come up with more creative names?"

After hours of chasing rocks away with gospel music, Mario and Luigi finally enter Beanbean Castle Town. However, it's all destroyed and stuff.

Mario was looking around. "What happened here?"

"Well," Announcer said, coming down to the Earth in human form (he's normally just a voice and is saying the non-speaking parts, like these sentence in the parentheses apple monkey dishwasher) "In the year 2004, which was the year that this chapter was originally uploaded, just a few seconds ago, again, when it was uploaded, this town was hit by a pebble. The pebble destroyed the town, somehow."

"I swear, that is the weirdest thing I've ever heard!" Mario said. For some "unknown" reason, Mario gets shocked by lightning.

"And now, I bid you goodbyeness!" Announcer exclaimed, disappearing in a random cloud of cloudness.

What will the Bros. do in the next chapter? Find out in the next Castle Town! But reverse "Castle Town" and "Chapter!"

* * *

**1) The name of the car is a composition of many car names, though the ones with "bird" at the end don't have that part, except at the end of the whole name. These were the cars used:**

**-Ford Thunderbird  
-Mercury Cougar  
-Pontiac Firebird  
-Eagle Falcon  
-Volkswagen Jetta  
-Kia**** Sorrento  
-VW Touraeg  
-Honda del sol  
-Honda Civic  
-VW Beetle  
-Sony PlayStation (not a car)**

**2) When I say things like OMG, the characters inside of the story are actually saying "OMG!" and not "Oh my god!" And they are supposed to break the fourth wall.**

**3) When I originally wrote this fic, Chocolate Lucky Charms and the Nintendo DS didn't exist. But now they do! Oh, and since the new fanfiction writing thing doesn't accept the underscore traditionally used for faces, I had to use periods for the mouth.  
And each chapter is longer than before.**

**4) NessSnorlax is not drunk or on a sugar high while writing this fic. I'm being serious.**

**HAPPY DAY! **

**-The NessSnorlax**


	7. Abstractly Fabulous

**Mario and Luigi: Crazystar Saga**

**By NessSnorlax**

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, like everyone that writes fanfiction for Mario.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Abstractly Fabulous**

Another pebble, like the one that destroyed the town last chapter, fell on Mario's head and knocked him out. During this time, Mario has a dream.

"It's now time for... WHEEL OF ROBOTS!" Announcer exclaims in a loud voice, with the music for the show playing in the background. Mario skips the first round, and then dreams that it's his turn. Mario takes a spin on the wheel, and announces the name of the robots.

"Ikea-bot, iSack, Bender, NessSnorlax, Military Octobot, Metal Sonic, Eliwood, Funzo, Robot Devil, Willdows 95, Caterkiller, Servo, Robot 1-X, Ribbot, Lyn, Mike R. Phone, Kwanzabot, Bill, Lisa..." Mario went through all of the robots, and starts saying them again. "Ikea-bot, iSack, Bender, NessSnorlax, Military Octobot, Metal Soooonic... ELIWOOD!"

"I'm sorry, but Eliwood just ate a yacht and..."

Mario turns into an Atari 2600 style spaceship, and the other things turn into weird, funky-shaped, roundish blobs of thing. Of course, since this is **_Atari VIDEO COMPUTER SYSTEM (or 2600)_** we're taking about, all Mario could say was "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!"

Then, an outline of a TOY HUMMER comes on the screen. Mario was horrified. He explained this horror in the most poetic way possible. "BEEP BEEP BEEP!" Mario said, and then exploded.

_**EXPLOSION COUNTER: 1**_

Luigi then wakes up Mario. Mario, however, still thinks it's the dream world.

Mario asked Luigi a question. "Who's Eliwood?"

"What the hell is that? Anyway, do you know what was in that cryogenic chamber?"

"Um... no."

"And whatever happened to the last chapter? There were TWO chapter fives! We're becoming like the land of Action 52!"

"NOT ACTION 52!" And with this, Mario explodes.

_**EXPLOSION COUNTER: 2**_

Random things start exploding.

_**EXPLOSION COUNTER: 184.39059**_

After everything exploded, they regenerated for some reason.

Mario made a comment of it. "That was WEIRD! Now with potassium!"

Luigi, not knowing what to say, just starts talking about the chamber again. "Who was in that chamber?"

"Look, the time on it is almost up!"

The chamber reads the dial. "Oh, uh... it's 2 MINUTES, jackarse!"

Mario and Luigi were shocked at this chamber's shocking and improper use of the grammartronics. They were so mad, that the chamber was thrown of the cliff, going down a long pit to the centre of the earth... no, wait, it just actually landed on the roof of a building.

"So... uh," Luigi asked, "what WERE we doing anyway?"

"Hmm... good question!" Mario exclaimed. "I think we were going to the building with the squares and Queen Victorias... they call it a castle!"

Then, Queen Victoria arose from her grave (she did die in 1901) to say something. "We are not amused!"

"But you're never amused, Queen Victoria!" Mario said. Of course, Victoria was gone, as she had gone back to her grave to rest there for whole bunch of chapters.

So, Mario and Luigi spend one minute and fifty-five seconds to get to the castle, when they didn't realize that is was RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM! Hey, what was in the chamber anyway? Let's find out!

The person in there was, obviously, still in there. The timer counts down from five seconds... four... three... two... one point five... one and quarter of a five... a whole one...  
Our automobiles are made out of brick ovens (1)... ZERO! The chamber opens and someone comes out.

"Ah, finally, those damn reporters are gone!" It's Mushroom Kingdom vice-president Lloyd Irving! However, the reporters still found him.

"What is your stance on the industrializationifying of the African nation of kwaNgougnononononeinoinoinoinstan?"

"How will raise gas prices and make many people pissed off and start a communist world revolution with bread, having only being invented a couple thousand summers ago?"

"PLEASE MAKE THE GODDAMN SHEELOS FANFIC!"

"I want to eat the pavement! Pavement is really tasty. I will eat it, to avenge the death of my automobile!" This person then eats the pavement, thinking it tastes really good. 

Of course, Lloyd just runs off again. Meanwhile, the Mario Bros. are talking about stuff.

"You know what?" Mario asked.

"What EES EET?" Luigi responded.

"Okay, you didn't need to say that, but I need new clothing, because I lost all of mine in the Great Mushroom Kingdom Swirly Spinny Thing of 1986."

"In America, Canada, England, and Canada's wacky northern neighbour, Australia, they call it a 'tornado.' Such strange foreign names!"

"Just so you know, Luigi, Canada's 'wacky northern neighbour' is the North Pole. And I have to agree with you; 'swirly spinny thing' sound much better than 'tornado!'"

The Mario Bros. are now starting to look for clothing. By now, they had already forgotten to go to the castle. The Bros. wander into a store called "ALLEN THE OVERLORD & TAYLOR," but leave because it was too "girly." Oh, and the fact that Mario hurt his toe on their stupid metal clothing, hopping all over the place. Then, they go to another store that's a parody of one in real life, called "ABEROMNICRONBIE & FITCH."

Mario is still not happy. He starts to say something in a sarcastically happy tone of voice. "I'm going to buy some clothes now because the author is forcing me to!"

So, Mario goes into the dressing room, puts on some clothing, and comes out with dress and hairstyle that looks similar to the kind that the Futurama character Amy Wong wears.

"Um... okay." Luigi said, just staring in confusion. "That's... uh..." Luigi was trying to say, trying as best as he could to hold back laughter. "That's is... hehe... the best outfit ever!"

"G'uh!"

So, Mario pays for the outfit, and they leave the store. For some reason, Mario was still wearing the outfit. "Now, let's go to the castle!"

For no reason, Mario decided to turn on the radio normally used for scaring away those goddamn rocks. The station that was on had a commercial.

"Someday, our children will be named after Ikea chairs and tables. We just might have schools filled with children named Ektorp, Karlanda, Leksvik, and Fröjsta!" Some Guy said.

Mario was shocked. "MAMMA-MIA! It's a commercial! Now with 467 percent more potassium and Commodore 64!" Then, things start exploding.

_**EXPLOSION COUNTER: Let's make it a nice, even, round number... 200**_

Of course, in true NessSnorlaxian fashion, they start regenerating. Then, some guards start approaching Mario.

"You look like Mario. We'll need to see some proof!" Guard said.

Mario jumps. "See! I made jumping popular in 1980! In 1979 and before, people didn't know jumping existed. But after 1980, people do it all of the time!" And, for no reason, Mario holds up a magazine called "WEIRD STUFF WEEKLY." Guard snatches it out of Mario's hand.

"Look here!" Yet Another Guard says. "It says here that Mario has been seen wearing women's clothing!"

"Is that true?"

"Nah, it's probably some crazy, insane rumour that someone made up." Of course, what Another Guard doesn't realize is that Mario just walked up to them _actually wearing_ the aforementioned clothing.

"Hey, look at this rumour! It says that the ass-kicking graham crackers actually kicked people's asses, and when they kicked the ass of an flaming cheese hot dog, the hot dog then spit fire out everywhere, burning the graham crackers to whatever burned graham crackers turn into after they are burned!"

"It also says that Cackletta, Fawful, and her new henchman, Ganondorf, chose a stupid place for a hideout, a place where everyone can actually see them."

* * *

Meanwhile, in the hideout of the Not Ready for Primetime Players... I mean Cackletta...

"Eeyah heh heh heh heh! Need more eyewash, GWARGH!" Cackletta said, looking for the ever-yummable eyewash.

"I HAVE FURY!" Fawful, of course, said.

Ganondorf was sad. "I don't have a catchphrase."

"Now, to discuss things in my evil and well-hidden secret hideout."

"Your Witchiness..." Ganondorf said. "Hate to tell you, but this isn't very evil or well-hidden."

"YOU'RE FIRED!" Cackletta exclaimed, doing a hand gesture to rival Donald Trump's.

Ganondorf then leaves, doing what any evil villain would do: buy Swedish furniture. What, you think they'd kidnap princesses? That's crazy. Anyway, as you could have guessed by the "Swedish furniture," the two were in Ikea, where people were looking at the furniture.

"Of comfortable chair this being is! Living room gets it for needing!" Fawful proclaimed, almost falling asleep while doing so.

"Ganondorf was wrong! This is a GREAT place for a secret hideout! You can even buy lamps here! LAMPS! Oh my gosh! It's a lamp inside of a cube! I would have never thought of it!"

"Agreeing of I. Lamps we need lots and lots of because my of I HAVE FURY mustard power, lamps blowing up will it will!"

_**EXPLOSION COUNTER: 350**_

"Hey, Fawful, whatever happened to your TV network?"

"With my I HAVE FURY ACROSS THE USA power, making of Fawful Broadcasting Corporation, FBC or, major network made it in to!"

"Wasn't it called something else last chapter?"

"Name changes second every it does!"

At the FBC headquarters in New Yorkamsterdam, the sign outside changes to Fawful Corp Headquarters, then to Fawful Broadcasting, then Fawful-Cackletta Heavy Industries Conglomerate, Fawful's Broadcasting System and Maximum-Security Prison, and finally, Fawfultoon Network.

Cackletta could somehow see this, which was amazing, considering that they were in the **Beanbean Kingdom.** "So, what are Fawfultoons?"

"FOXBOX, or as they call it now, '4Kids TV,' like it is. But having more crappy shows! Crappy shows being '_Cacklettatubbies,_' and _'Cackletta and the Purple Cackle Thing._' Oh, and 5 hour block programming toothbrush it is about!"

Cackletta was confused. "Toothbrush?"

"Toothbrush I had that in my family for 56 years, 1979 war was beginning!"

"Main screen turn on! No... Wait, unless it is 2035, you would have only had your toothbrush for twenty-six years!" Cackletta corrected.

Then, Fawful started to say something that had absolutely nothing to do with the subject at hand. And in remarkable clarity, too!

"We're in the I HAVE FURY Zone, which is a dimension of things about imaginational crap, and we're all about to enter it!"

"Okay, so, in the next four seconds, I will work in some place, get transported to some weird flying ugly round spherical thingy, come out to find everything destroyed, find books, and then have non-existent glasses fall off of my face so I can't read anymore. Oh, and be freaked out!"

"Exactly! Happening that does of will!"

* * *

After this long conversation, we now go back to see what the Mario Brothers are doing. And they have absolutely no idea what it is that they are doing.

"So, now what are we supposed to do?" Mario asked to Luigi.

"Hmm..." Luigi thought, holding out a book that said 'MAWIO & LUYGY STWATEGY GUYDE,' "It says here, that in order to progress, we need to win the lottery game Powerball!"

"I heard that if anyone can guess what the word 'STWATEGY' means, then they win the legendary Golden Cookie of Montezuma! Then they could find a picture of Buddha, Thor, or Martel in it, and then someone named Jennifer would buy it for $8,675,309!" Mario exclaimed! He had always wanted the legendary Golden Cookie of Montezuma.

Then, Mario searched his pockets for a translator. Instead, he found a lottery ticket, for the Powerball thing. There are the numbers 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, and the Powerball is 2. On the nearby ginormous-screen television, the announcer for the lottery says the exact same numbers as on the lottery ticket! Mario realizes that they won!

"OMG! We won! We have won $376 billion United States dollars!"

"Well, Mario, you do realize that we have a $150 quadrillion multimedia empire, making us richer than Bill Gates, who only has a measly $6 billion dollars!"

Soon afterward, Luigi finds a real Player's Guide for this game. "According to this, we have to fix the castle's plumbing, and then find out that Cackletta and her two minions stole the Beanstar!"

"Good!" Mario exclaimed, glad that Luigi just revealed part of the plot. "Then we don't have to do that!"

All of a sudden, someone who looks like Lady Lima comes down on a string. "Good! First, I need you to fix the castle's plumbing network."

"I'm so sorry," Mario said, "but we have hired someone from a real plumbing company to fix the plumbing pipes!"

"Lady Lima" was horrified! "OH NO! Now Cacklet... I mean the Duke of Cackledom can't send the Beanstar off to the Hooniversity!"

"You're an idiot!" Mario exclaimed. "You just told us all of your secret plans!"

So, Fawful, who was disguised as Lady Lima, was angry. "I HAVE FURY, WHICH IS SOMETHING YOU DO NOT HAVE, MARIO! HA-HA! HA-HA! HA-HA!"

"I only want fury if it's in pill form! Other kinds of fury taste horrible!" Mario said, in a tone of voice to match Fawful's.

"WELL, TOO BAD!" Fawful then flew off.

That being done, the Mario Bros. go into the queen's chamber, which was easier than normal to get through because they didn't have to waste their time underground and revealed the plot to everyone. What they saw in that chamber shocked them.

"Oh no! I just ate McDonald's fries! They taste so horrible!" said Queen Bean, who was rolling around on the ground, clutching her stomach.

The **real** Lady Lima came up to Mario and explained the situation. "The only way to cure the queen of this pain is to find the legendary bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken Chicken Strips, because they're finger lickin' good. In fact, they are so legendary, that they will instantly cure the eater of the 'I ate too much crappy McDonald's food' virus, which is made up by the author or authoress because there are always those people complaining about the quality of the food at McDonald's and fast food in general... but if the author or authoress' name is 'Sheena,' then that most likely means she's female, right? Anyway, he or **_she_** could have also chosen the legendary bucket of Wendy's fries, Tim Horton's donuts and sandwiches, Subway sandwiches..." Lima then continues to list all sorts of fast food places and one food item that they serve. Of course, Mario and Luigi can't take it.

"Well, okay." Mario said. "We'll find you BOTH of the legendary buckets!"

"And those two would be...?" Lima asked.

"The KFC Bucket and the 'PLEASE SHUT UP NOW!' bucket, which we need right now!" Luigi yelled, in a voice that was so loud it destroyed... a measly lamp. Yeah, only one lamp. How pitiful.

"ALL RIGHTY!" Lima exclaimed in a cheerful tone, and, on cue, exploded.

_**EXPLOSION COUNTER: 351**_

And with this, Mario and Luigi leave the casle, going on the search for Chateau de Chucklechuk, the last word not being French.

"We have to find the KFC bucket!" Mario exclaimed.

"Hey... I just realized something!" Luigi... realized.

"What?"

"Why can't we just pull up to the Kentucky Fried Chicken, get the food, and save us the expense of going through the boring old forest!"

"MAMMA-MIA! You're right!"

Then, in all of his announcerly glory, Announcer came down from the place where he usually is and tells them a legendary story. "One day, there were people who did not want that to happen. So, they decided to protest outside of NessSnorlax's house, destroying New Jersey in a nuclear war, and so, this part of the story was added!"

"Are you being serious?" Mario asked. He looked suprised that people would do such a thing over a fanfic.

"Of course not! You have to do this because something similar was in the original Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga! And it has to do with Kentucky Fried Chicken because the authoress didn't want it to be exactly like the game! Blah blah blah..."

Just then, Announcer gets shocked by thunder. "WHAT! Aren't Mario and Luigi the ones supposed to be shocked?"

There was silence. Announcer then decides to retreat to his announcer hole, which is in the sky for some odd reason.

"Okay... that's good for us I guess!" Luigi said, confused as why all of that happened.

And so, the Mario Brothers went off to the forest, doing what it is the Mario brothers do; waiting for the next chapter so the story can progress.

* * *

**Will they find the magical bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? Find out in the next exciting chapter of...**

**THIS FANFIC!**

**What, you thought this would be broadcast on your Super Nintendo? No! But back then, you were playing with power! And now, it's all about how touching is good! Oh, and the Nintendo Wii too.  
**

**Chicken Miasma: Yep, that's exactly where the "ass-kicking graham crackers" come from. And "flaming cheese hot-dogs."**

**-The NessSnorlax**


	8. Someday Night City

**Mario and Luigi: Crazystar Saga**

**By NessSnorlax**

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, like everyone that writes fanfiction for Mario.

**Chapter 8: Someday Night City (watch out for singing!)**

**

* * *

**"WHEE! WHEE! WHEE! WHEE! WHEE!" Mario exclaimed, obviously happy about something.

"Why are you saying that?" Luigi asked.

"Can't you see, Luigi? We're going down some slide in some theme park!"

As it turns out, Mario and Luigi are at a theme park, riding down the slide... in a Hummer H1.

"WHEE! WHEE! WHEE! WHEE! WHEE!" Mario exlaimed, still being happy.

"MEOW! MEOW! WAKE UP! MEOW! MEOW!" Luigi exclaimed, mimicing Mario.

"Luigi... you know that this isn't a..." Then, from what is seen to Mario, the theme park melts and the area around it turns to black. Then, the dashboard of the Hummer re-appears, with Mario still in the seat.

"Woah! How did I end up here?" Mario asked.

"Mario, you were in what people call a 'dream.'" Luigi explained, "That's why the theme park melted. And when you were sleeping, we someow got stuck teetering off the side of Joke's End!"

"MAMMA-MIA!"

A part of the castle collapses into the water, sending the car that the Bros. were in sink to the bottom.

"LOOK AT EVERYTHING!" Mario exclaimed, never seeing such a sight before. "I see sea lions, land sea lions, and strawberryfish..."

"Strawberryfish?" Luigi asked.

Then, all of a sudden, Lucky, the cereal mascot for the Lucky Charms cereal, appeared. "That's right! Red strawberryfish, purple horseshoefish, and green keyfish! Now part of Undersea Lucky Charms, also in chocolate flavour! Part of this good breakfast!"

Mario was confused. "How the hell did you get in here?"

"How else? Through the sunroof!"

"MAMMA-MIA!" Water then came through the sunroof, somehow drowning Mario, Luigi, and Lucky, even though because of the physics of the game, they can actually breathe underwater for some unholy reason. Then, the water melts, fades to black, and Mario finally wakes up, seeing the dashboard of the Hummer for a third time.

"Mario, you were in what people call a 'dream.'" Luigi explained, again, "That's why the water melted."

"YOU ALREADY SAID THAT!"

"I know that, but when I did, it was in the real mushroom world!"

"Well, that was weird. Now without potassium!" Mario stated, wondering why it doesn't have potassium this time. This made everyone landed in Bulgaria. The end.

"NO! IT IS NOT THE END! THERE'S STILL DOZENS AND DOZENS OF CHAPTERS TO READ THROUGH!" Mario said, angrily. Then, this caused everyone melted into the Bulgarian street, magically appearing back to where they're supposed to be, or going back to that fantasy place called 'real life'. Because Bulgaria began with the letter 'B', it started to exist in all planes of time and space, but I'm going off topic here.

"Yawn. Get on with the story! Or else we have to listen to your boring speech about Bulgaria and that country's awesome inventions such as the wheel, the letter '5', and Europe!"

And so, Mario existed again, back in the Hummer SUV, because Bulgaria exists in all planes of time and space, so you can do that sort of stuff. "Now, please, can we get back with the story?" asked Announcer.

"It was you who led us off topic!"

Luigi was not happy with all of this. "We're supposed to be finding the legendary bucket of KFC! Come on Mario, stop wasting our time!"

Using his Zeus-like powers, Announcer sent a thunderbolt down to Luigi, but it hit the sidewalk. The sidewalk was upset about this.

"Damn you! You hurt me! You'll pay for this!" the Sidewalk said, in a pissed off tone of voice.

Mario and Luigi were weirded out. "How do sidewalks talk?"

However, it wasn't question time! It was move-on-with-the-story time! They were driving down the 5-kilometre per hour zone at a speed of 120 kilometres to go to the Chucklechuck Woods. They end up driving into it, but after driving for five miles, they saw something spectacular.

"Look! It's Sonic!" Luigi exclaimed.

"I don't see any burger places." Mario said. "What are you talking about?"

"Sonic the Hedgehog! Who else would be named Sonic?"

"Oh. Good for you! Why he is in a Mario fanfic is beyond me."

The Mario Bros. continue on driving, and driving, and driving, and sounding boring, until they reach the intersection of Fake Street and Northwest East West Drive. Lucky, the Lucky Charms leprechaun, comes back to try to sell the Mario Bros. more cereal products.

"Strawberry bacon, grape chicken, and apple tuna! Now part of new Cat Food Lucky Charms, part of this complete breakfast!"

"Will you get out of my car?" Mario asked, obviously annoyed.

Lucky then leaves the car, feeling dejected, but still happy because that's how General Mills forces him to feel. Fortunately, it wasn't all bad, as Mario just got a new idea.

"I know! I was put on this earth for two things: to rescue princesses every Wednesday, and to invent strawberry bacon!"

Luigi didn't care, because he was still driving the car. They eventually reach the Chateau de Chucklechuck, the last word still not being French, only to find that it was replaced with a mall!

"Well, we're at the mall, but it's not just any mall! It's the Quadruple Pines mall!" Luigi exclaimed.

"That's great, Luigi." Mario said, "but we were supposed to go to the Chateau de Chucklechuck!"

"Uh oh..."

This time, Luigi ends up at the right place, which still exists. Annoucner is lying to you! And for some reason, a Boo apepars!

"Welcome to the HAUNTED ROLLER DISCO! Bwahahahahahaha!" the Boo shouted, in a freaky tone of voice.

"You idiot!" the aptly-named Another Boo said. "The roller disco is over there! Somewhere! So, Mario and strange green guy that I don't know the name of despite being in Mario games since 1983, where is the roller disco?"

"Double-you tee eff? You don't have feet! How are you going to use the roller disco?" Mario asked, weirded out for the second time.

"You know, that's a good question. Anyway-- my goodness! There's the flying roller disco spoken of in Hyrulean legend!"

Another Boo wasn't joking. It was real! A roller disco, shining in the sunlight, was flying towards the rainbow over the waterfall which doesn't exist in the game, but is there because I say so. The roller disco is playing the song _Dancing Queen_ by the Ever _Holy_ Gods of Sweden, ABBA.

"Now I know why it's haunted!" Mario said, in a frightened voice.

So, after all of that confusion, the Mario Brothers go inside the Chateau, and magically, appear right in front of the barrel room! The happiness was ruined, however, when Luigi started singing.

"I ate a dunce cap, tra la la la la, it tasted horrible, and it really did! The dunce..."

Mario was angry. "Instead of making up horrible songs, how about going through the maze?"

"But with singing songs, and the Ocarina of Time, we can go seven years into... THE FUTURE! Or PAST if you're in THE FUTURE!"

For no apparent reason, the Super Mario Bros. theme song starts to play, and singers come out singing some song.

"Oh, it's the FUTURE! Yes, the FUTURE! The god damn FUTURE! Where we speak in CAPS LOCK!"

Mario was still angry at all of the singing. "Will you get out of our fanfic? This isnt' the 'HEY HEY LETS SING CRAPPY SONGS HOUR'!" Fortunately, for Luigi, they went off, but were still singing their crappy song.

"We're leaving this FANFIC! Oh, yes, this FANFIC! This funny FANFIC, where it's a crazy adventure about two plumber guys!" Before leaving to the Land Beyond the Fanfic, however, a lightning bolt made the singers explode.

_**EXPLOSION COUNTER: Let's say 500.**_

Then, so Luigi would be even more pissed off, the roller disco flew over them, playing Dancing Queen in the background.

Luigi was mad. "I'm so mad!" Luigi shouted, not knowing that I, the Announcer, explained this to him. And they can very clearly hear us.

"Us? There is more than one announcer?"

That's right, Luigi. We're part of a vast right-wing conspiracy stretching from coast to coast. We hide the truth about Area 51. We take away your freedoms. We announce weird fanfics.

Luigi was now scared of the world. "They're being random again..."

* * *

Meanwhile, at the roller disco... 

"Oh, no, the roller disco is flying again!" Sir Booington, the manager, exclaimed.

DJ Boo Diddy was frustrated. "Can't we do anything about it?"

"I'm afraid not," Regular Boo, who isn't really special at all, said in a dissapointing tone.

Fortunately, Dr. Boo was on board, and he knew what was going to happen. "Well, we're going to die again. Let's sit here and daydream about the past, when the roller disco flew over such places as over the reader's house, and airplanes, and the airport, and the aeroport."

Dr. Boo soon starts to daydream, thinking about the beautiful day of Decembuary 5, 1995, a time before the Beanbean Kingdom was invented by Nintendo. The Boo DreamTeam, as they called themselves back then, parked their roller disco in the parking lot, and are eating pancakes at the Falaffel House near the Single Pine Mall.

"So... what the hell is a falaffel?" Regular Boo asked.

Dr. Boo wondered. "These pancakes are a health violation! They make me vomit!"

Outside, there is a sign that clearly states, "We use used meat!" This made Dr. Boo even more confused.

"Who would make pancakes out of meat?" Dr. Boo asked. He called the health department, but it was too late: many vans that said "Sometown Area Health Decepticon-type Unit." Sir Booington was acting crazy.

"Rocket! I'm taking a rocket! I'm packing my suitcase! Look out moon!"

This made Dr. Boo crazier, as he couldn't take the Health Decepticon overload. "This is a roller disco! We'd all melt before going to the moon! And then we'd rain fury upon the town of Sometown, Pennsylvania! Mwehehehe! What's a moon?"

"Sorry, but I'm afraid that I have to cry now," Sir Booington said, holding his head out of a window. As the roller disco is flying over beautiful downtown Burbank, the people saying stuff such as "it burns," "why me," and "what is the true meaning of wife?" On the local C BS television station, they have a speachila report.

"People, we have a speachila report - the word 'speachila' was invented by someone who was drunk! More at 11."

"But right now, we're here to report the evil seen downtown. We'll cut live to our weather person, Weatherperson."

Somewhere in the mystical place of Mysticaland, Weatherperson is trying the best that he can to give the report. "Well, it's flying over the city, and it'll melt our brains! We expect it to move over the Rocky Mountains before Sir Booington realizes there's a doctor in that flying roller disco. In the meantime, let's eat it!"

The NewsReporter 21 Action News Team was disgusted. "You expect us to do THAT!" One member of the team shouted in disgust.

* * *

And so, we cut back to the Mario Brothers, before it gets even crazier than before. They, too, are talking about the roller disco. Luigi, fed up with all of the singing, was still angry. 

"If I see that roller disco one more time, I swear I'm going to kill it!"

"Dude, you can't, like, kill a roller disco, man!" Mario said, acting like a hippie for... one reason.

"This is more out-of-character than ever, Mario."

"So? Dude, no, I can like, eat more pebbles, man!" After Mario said 'pebbles,' a game show host's desk suddenly appears somewhere.

"Congradulations! Pebble is the word of the day! You win a pebble falling to your head!" the random Game Show host said, in an equally strange voice. A pebble falls from the sky, and Mario is normal again. So is the fic, for the most part, which means that the game show host dissappeared in a cloud of cloudy things.

"Now, let's find the exit!" Mario exclaimed, now eager to get out of here.

Luigi didn't hear this, and is reading through the Player's Guide. "Aren't we supposed to find these two French guys who are supposed to teach us this technique?"

"Well, no, because we already know all of the techniques!"

We haven't checked Cackletta's base yet! Let's check that out!

* * *

"Eeyah heh heh heh heh," Cackletta cackled, "So, you're here for the evil sidekick application?" 

"Of course," Petey Pirhana, from Super Mario Sunshine, said, "I went to Pirhana State University, you know, somewhere on Isle Delfino?"

"Yes, yes..."

"And, like many pirhanas, my major was eating people or other various things."

"Well, Petey," said Cackletta, while reading from her list, "I think you'd be someone who can be very evil and the third member of our gang. However, you have to take the Evil Class with professor Fawful first so I can choose who'll become member number 3. Next!"

Ganondorf, who didn't look to much different, walked up to the desk. "I am... er, let me think... Frodnonag of the Odureg tribe in that Eluryh place! I take over Hyrule... I mean Eluryh, and spread evil, and badness, and boring rants..."

"The reverse the names of places trick doesn't work, Ganondorf," Cackletta duly noted.

"Was it because I insulted your horrible IKEA base?"

"Yes."

"Aww..." Ganondorf walked off, feeling dejected. The audience goes "Aww..." too.

"Okay, what the fudge is going on here? There's not supposed to be an audience here!" Cackletta exclaimed, very outraged.

"But this is a fanfic! There are forces that are more powerful than us reading what we say right now!" Random Person shouted.

Hold on... the Mario Brothers are doing something... you should read that instead!

* * *

"Let's find the bucket and GET OUT OF HERE!" Mario shouted. 

"Not yet," Luigi pointed out, "You see, like all our games, we have to go on some long, boring adventure first. But we'll eventually get the legendary bucket of KFC!"

After trying to search for a door, they eventually find one. But the Mario Brothers end up in to the **No Good, Horrible, Very Bad, Evil, and Bolded Text So You Know Its Evil Barrel Maze of DOOM! (Not the Computer Game)**!

"Mamma mia! That looks hard to get through!" Luigi exclaimed, shocked at this travesty.

"Not really." This time it was Mario pointing something out. "All I have to do is use my fireball technique so the barrels will explode."

Mario uses the fireball technique and the barrels explode. Then, strawberry bacon started pouring out of the barrels, creating some that are mountains high! (Yet somehow could still fit into the house.) It covered the brothers and another someone lurking in the room with tonnes and tonnes of bacon.

"Damn it, they already invented strawberry bacon before we did!" Mario realized.

"Oh, well, why would anyone want strawberry bacon anyway?" Luigi asked.

Then, Luigi just went off to another part of the room, singing crappy songs, causing various terror alerts around the world to be heightened. Unknowingly to Mario, someone else started to follow him.

"This strawberry bacon tastes good, don't you think?" the person asked.

"Well, I haven't had any yet, and... wait a minute, you're not Luigi!" Mario realized, quite shocked at this discovery.

"Curses! I have been found! Are you one of those policemen?" said Popple the Bandit.

"Well, not according to any of the games I've been in, but I have had many jobs, such as plumber, and carpenter, and go-kart driver, and princess rescuer, and fighter, and lamp designer, emperor of Japan, emperor of Poland, soccer star, fitness instructer..." Mario kept rambling on an on about jobs.

"Well, I have to go check on Rookie! So, come to the next room, and most importantly, **don't defeat me!**"

After Popple left, Luigi emerged from the bacon maze, and the world was safer, at least for a few chapters. "It's always a party with strawberry bacon!"

"Yeah, well..." Mario said, seriously, "I found this evil dude called Popple, and we have to fight him after this commercial!"

The screen fades to black, and the product placement begins!

* * *

"Do you want the mediocre-ist in cars?" Someone A asked. 

"YES!"

"Do you want the mediocre-ist in foreign space cars from inner space?" Someone A asked, again.

"PROBABLY!"

"Then come to Outer Hoohoo Nord-Kasatroti! With Nord Explosions starting at the low low price of 2 coins, and this ULTRA-EXPENSIVE (Insert Sportscar Here) at ONE coin! That's right, ONE coin!"

"So come to Outer Hoohoo Nort-Kasatroti! Located at 111 One Street, Hoohoo Mountain." The horrible car dealership commercial ended, and we move on to the next commercial.

"Come to Mushroom Square Garden for Super Smash Brothers: The Musical! Watch as 25 characters duke it out, **_in musical form!_** It's filled with drama..." The first part of the commercial shows a fight with Link and Kirby.

"And now I must eaaaat yoooou..." Kirby said, as the Link actor flew into Kirby's mouth. Then, Kirby breaks into a song about eating Link. Backrground singers accompany Kirby when singing.

"Oh, I have eaten Link!"

"Yes, he has eaten Link!"

"Yes, I have eaten Link!"

"He has eaten Link!"

"And now I'll get a new ability!"

"He gets a new ability!"

The commercial then moves on to another scene, with the commercial announcer voicing over. "And some other things, too! So cone down to the Mushroom Square Garden to see Super Smash Brothers: The Musical! Buy the soundtrack, too, which includes all 98 hit songs from the musical, such as _I Have Eaten Link_ and _Master Hand Stole My Lunch_! Tickets are only 10 coins, so come today!"

* * *

"That's it! I'm buying tickets to Super Smash Bros: The Musical!" Luigi exclaimed, almost running off before Mario stopped him. 

"Not now, Luigi! The fic isn't over yet! We still need to defeat Bowletta, which doesn't happen until the end, and reveal more of the plot before we know it in-character!"

"You're right..." Luigi said dissapointedly. He soon cheered up, though. The two Mario Bros. continued to walk through the strawberry bacon maze, eating it all, and then leaving to find...

"Look, there's Popple!"

"Hurry up Rookie!" Popple said, hurriedly, as he realized that Mario and Luigi were in the room. "We need to steal this strawberry bacon to grow on the organic hippie farms!"

"We'll just see about that!" said an angered Mario, stepping out onto the platform Popple and Rookie were on.

"No, actually, it helps the organic hippie farms by having more organic-ness and Commodore 64!" Popple pointed out.

"And your rookie is?" Luigi questioned.

Rookie turned around. "Oh my gosh! Those two look familiar! I think their names are Mariah Carey and Carl!" he said, obviously forgetting important information (such as men don't really have the names of female superstars). Popple just stared at him blankly.

"You're saying you know these two idiots?"

"Well, that's what I said!"

"Well, who cares! Let's just fight them anyway!" And so, a giant star blanked out the screen as it turned to battle mode.

* * *

**In the next chapter, they will fight Popple and Rookie, and they _might_ get the legendary bucket of KFC.**

**-The NessSnorlax**


	9. A Mario Day's Night

**Mario and Luigi: Crazystar Saga**

**By NessSnorlax**

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, like everyone that writes fanfiction for Mario.

* * *

**Chapter 9: A Mario Day's Night**

A fight was about to begin, but Popple soon changed his mind.

"Dude, let's not fight! Let's just dance around like lunatics!"

"I like being a lunatic!" Rookie said enthusiastically. "It's funtastic! Plus, we can go crazy!"

Mario was not amused. "Okay, you two are acting crazy."

**And so, Mario and Luigi ended another journey to rescue the princess. Thank you for reading this fanfic!**

"NO! NO! NO! BIG HUGE GOD DAMN NO!" Luigi shouted.

"Okay, we get the idea, it's not the end." Mario said, trying to make the atmosphere more calm. "So, do we care? NO! In fact, it might never be the end! This fanfic could even have 358 chapters!"

"But we'd be too tired," Luigi pointed out.

"We're video game characters! We never get tired! Now let's find the chicken!"

While walking along in the forest, Mario finds a map.

"How convenient! They put a map where the legendary bucket of KFC chicken is so that bad guys could steal it!" Mario said, excitedly. He rushed off to find it.

"They can all eat potato cakes!" Luigi said.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Cackletta's base, Fawful was drilling the crowd if they have what it takes to join the Farmy.

"Do you has what it takes to join the Farmy?"

"YES!" the crowd shouted.

"Will you bring a sack lunch and some tomato slices for me?"

"QUITE POSSIBLY, I GUESS, BUT WHO EATS TOMATO SLICES?" The crowd was confused.

"Now, let's celebrate by eating potato cakes."

Fawful goes into a door marked "ULTRA SUPER-SECRET ROOM." Cackletta is sitting at her desk.

"Well, day one of teaching is done! Who did we hire, anyway?" Fawful asked.

"Eeyah heh heh heh heh! The finest of all evil peoples! Petey Piranha, Dr. Eggman, the Koopa Kids, and Sailor Moon!" Cackletta explained. "Oh, don't forget the owner of Joe-Bob-Hank's Gas in Reno, Nevada."

"Excellent!"

"With this crew of evil guys, we can take over the world by the second Tuesday in April 2013," Cackletta pointed out.

Fawful was surprised. "WOW! That's fast!"

"Yeah, I know," Cackletta said, "but we should hire more evil guys."

* * *

"Now, according to this map, we have to find switches and stuff and that will make some platforms rise so we can do stuff and find the bucket of KFC!" Mario said.

"Why don't you use your Tanooki suit, and we could just fly up there?" Luigi asked.

"WOWNESS! That's a good idea!"

Mario throws Luigi, but he throws him too far, making Luigi land on the roof of the Single Pine mall. The roof of the mall shatters into millions of tiny pieces, which are all eaten by the floor tiles in the mall.

"Wow, just wow," Luigi said. "Those floor tiles, like, ate all the glass. I wonder if they can eat humans too. I've always wanted to get eaten by a floor tile. It sounds like fun! Can you eat me, floor tile?"

The floor tiles don't respond, much to Luigi's dismay. A beanperson looks at Luigi strangely.

"I've actually eaten a floor tile once. But that's another story for another fanfic, I need to go to the Laser Disc Hut!" he said.

"Laser Disc Hut?"

"That's the name of the store, Mario brother."

Luigi gasps, shocked that someone in the game knows who he is. "It's someone who knows I have a brother! What's my name?"

"I think you're named after a character in a movie with a time traveling DeLorean, and one of the characters in that movie was Marty McFly. So that's your name."

"NO, YOU IDIOT! IT'S LUIGI! HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW THAT?"

* * *

Announcer, seeing as that has nothing to do with rescuing the princess, decides to play god and turn back time, and re-write history so it NEVER HAPPENED!

"Well, that didn't work out. Let's try this jetpack I found in the middle of that painting," Mario said, pointing to a tree made out of pixels.

Mario puts jetpack on Luigi, and Luigi presses the start button. However, something goes wrong.

"You idiot! It's flying out of contorl! Even my vioce is out of contorl!"

* * *

Announcer decides that Luigi should land in Sweden. So, Luigi lands in Sweden. But this is not the real Sweden. This is some strangetastic Sweden invented by the Announcer.

"Now, where can I get gas for this flying gas-powered device?" Luigi wondered. He looked across the street, where there was a stør called "DAS SVEEDISH GAS STATION" (the sign being in fake Swedish). Of course, Luigi goes there, but runs into a problem.

"Liter? What the hell is a liter? How many miles are there in a liter? How many gallons are in a inch?" Luigi asked. He was becoming scared.

Meanwhile, some Swedes near the background speaking babelfished Dutch were having a conversation. "DAS GASP! Wist u dat Zweden van plan is om analoge televisieuitzendingen in 2008te elimineren? (Did you know that Sweden plans to eliminate analog television broadcasts in 2008?)" the first Swedish dude said to the other Swedish dude.

"Wie geeft? Eerst, u hijgde omdat u de groene broer van Mario zag, Marty McFly, en tweede, waarom zijn wij Nederlands het spreken? (Who cares? First, you gasped because you saw the green Mario brother, Marty McFly, and second, why are we speaking Dutch?)"

"Het is omdat de auteur een vertaler niet kan vinden die in Zweeds kan vertalen. (It's because the author can't find a translator that can translate into Swedish.)"

Announcer soon realizes that he made another mistake, so he rewrites history so IT NEVER HAPPENED! He's just like a one-man Ministry of Truth.

* * *

Luigi, now back in the Chucklehchuk Woods, told Mario about his adventures in Sweden. **"**Sweden is weird! I mean, they have these things called liters and people who speak Dutch, not Swedish!"

"I believe you went to the author's imagination."

"Whatever it was, it was a weird and scary place. What were we here for, anyway?"

"Nothing, but I just thought of something!"

"I hope it doesn't involve me hitting the roof of a world-famous made-up mall and ending up in a foreign country that's famous for it's contemporary and comfortable furniture."

"Not this time, but it has something to do with your High-Jump!"

"WOW! That's amazing! I didn't know about that! Does it involve jumping up that ledge that the developers put right there that's blocking us from continuing our journey?"

"Yes!"

* * *

The Mario Bros. use the high-jump, but Luigi ends up in a small town, because of Fawful's new Transport Annoying Evil Things...a-tron, and to continue making things DIVERGE FROM THEIR JOURNEY! MUAHAHA!

"Why the hell does everything weird happen whenever we try to jump up on a freakin' ledge?" Luigi questioned, to no one in particular. Announcer and Beanperson don't respond, but the floor tiles from the mall do.

"It's really our conspiracy to take over the world. We floor tiles may seem innocent, but watch out... the next time you go to the mall, we might eat your feet!"

"Right..." Luigi said, ignoring them. Luigi soon devises a new plan to get the story on-topic again.

"It's as easy as copy and paste!"

A giant arrow from the sky comes down and right-clicks on Luigi, and a menu comes up. The arrow clicks on "CUT" and Luigi disappears.

* * *

Back in the Beanbean Kingdom, a giant menu shows up. Mario is scared half to death and hides under the pixelated tree filled with pixels. Luigi suddenly appears.

"What the heck happened there?" Mario asked.

"You won't believe this, Mario, but I was the letter zero! And the letter one! Millions of them!" Luigi explained, with such detail.

"Well, I sure don't believe it."

* * *

In Cackletta's base, Fawful is speaking normally. This was, indeed, quite a shock.

"Okay, now for Farmy training. Okay, now do 3,000 jumping jacks, push-ups, push-rights, lifting up telephones, eating telephones, and installing cable TV."

"But what does that have to do with evil?" Petey Piranha asked.

"Actually, I'm just the substitute for Cackletta, she's on vacation in some American state."

* * *

In the fictional county of Bob County, in the fictional state of A State, an army guy is trying to track down Cackletta.

"We know you're in there! So get out!"

"Eeyah heh heh heh heh!" Cackletta cackles. She's trying to pretend not to be there. "Uh, this is Marzipan. Leave a message after my beeps!"

* * *

At the ledge, the Mario Bros. Perform a feat that no one on Earth thought they could do, and that is to finally get up and on to the ledge.

"Finally! We actually made it!" Mario said, exhaustingly.

Luigi wasn't impressed. "And it only took us 2 hours! 2 WHOLE HOURS WHEN IT COULD TAKE US 2 WHOLE SECONDS!"

"And who's to blame for going to Sweden, the Mall, and some small town no one ever heard of? Now, some of that is me..."

"ALL of that is you!"

"How about we just get the bucket of KFC, and LEAVE THIS FOREST!"

Mario and Luigi continued walking, but that dreaded flying roller disco of DREAD is flying over the forest. They could hear a song that went "At the white room, with black curtains, in the station..." come out from it. Mario tries to throw his shoe at it, but the shoe decided on its own free will to run off.

* * *

"MAMMA-MIA!" Sir Booington was worried.

"Here we go again..." Boo Diddy added.

"Here what goes again?" Regular Boo asked.

"The disco station changed their format to classic rock!" Boo Diddy said. He was not happy, as disco was the only thing he had left.

Regular Boo did not see what the roller disco is about. "So what?"

"This is a roller DISCO!" Boo Diddy shouted. "And a disco plays DISCO music!"

Sir Booington was minding his own buisness, but soon came up with an idea. "How about we buy some disco CD's from artists like AΔBA?"

"That ain't a real band! It's called ABBA, and they're a real band that plays music that this author or authoress likes."

* * *


	10. Toasterpop Phantom and the Bucket of KFC

**Mario and Luigi: Crazystar Saga**

**By NessSnorlax**

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, like everyone that writes fanfiction for Mario.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Toasterpop Phantom and the Bucket of KFC**

"We arrive where Mario and Marty McFly were seen last," Announcer bellowed, "hanging from a cliff!"

"NO, NO, AND HUGE NO!" Mario shouted, equally as loud. "We were never hanging from a cliff, and I don't think that word was ever mentioned in this story ever! You..." Mario was interrupted, however, when a tree growing in the sky ate the propellers from the Announcercopter, causing it to crash and go up in flames.

Announcer comes out of the Announcercopter, alive, because he can't die. "We are experiencing technical difficulties..."

The Announcercopter explodes.

"So please, stand by!"

As he said that, this fanfic cuts to commercial break. Some boring guy in a suit is explaning some boring things. "In America, over 100 of the people there keep old newspapers in their basement, garage, or garagement. Maybe even in their attics, atticments, or garattics. Of course, most of them are made up and very impossible."

"But of course," the guy says, "these newspapers can be recycled."

A newspaper from the West South Springfield Times from 1969 appears. The headline reads "1985: THE YEAR WE COLONIZE THE PLANETOIDALLY CHALLENGED DWARF PLANET PLUTO" and a small text under it that reads "2006: THE 20th ANNIVERSARY OF THE HOVERCAR."

"Now, coming from New Yorkamsterdam, we know what recycling is. But, in Regular Boring Old Yorkamsterdam, most people don't know what that is."

Another newspaper, this time from Regular Boring Old Yorkamsterdam, asks "WHAT THE HELL IS RECYCLING?"

"So, don't bother recycling."

The screen fades to black, and we see the next commercial. Some kind of regular nameless guy explains what the commercial is about.

"It's time to introduce our new invention, from the Edible Furniture Corporation's new Pasta-Pot. It's like that other Pasta-Pot, except you can eat the pot and not the pasta! We make the pasta taste bad, and it's not furniture! To order this Pasta-Pot, call the number on your screen..."

The number 1-800-555-USELESSPRODUCTS flashes on the screen.

"...or send a postcard to 489 Thank You For The Music Street, Summer Night City, Pennsylvania, 82177. We accept Pokémon cards, but not Discover cards!"

* * *

"This chapter brought to you by Mrs. Bill's New Fudgelate Chip Pudding! Combining fudge and chocolate chip into one new tasty desert!" Mario explained.

"That's right, and it's very, very tasty!" Luigi added.

* * *

Luigi didn't realize that it was time to continue on with the fanfic. "You know that pudding was very tasty!"

"WE KNOW THAT!" Mario shouted. "Now, if everyone will stop being stupid..."

"I'm not being stupid."

The director for the fanfic came in. "We can tell who's being the stupid one."

Luigi was confused. "No, we can't. Seriously, who's being stupid?"

"I think it's that weird phantom toaster over there."

"Pfft. Phantom Toasters don't exist," Luigi scoffed. "However, a professor taught a toaster to love, and he won a Nobel peacey prize!"

* * *

At the place where they give out the Nobel peacey prizes, a toaster is talking. "I love you, and I love me. But most importantly, and this should be obvious... I love toast. And I want to go to the country where the streets are paved of toast!"

* * *

The Toasterpop Phantom comes out, scaring everyone but Mario. "My name is weird and I scare people!" he explained. The Director and Luigi run away, scared.Mario, however, has other ideas. 

"Hey, you could join Fawful's evil army!"

"Oh god no!" the Toasterpop Phantom said, making a choking motion... somehow... since he doesn't have arms or a neck... "I hate Fawful so much! He has fury, and he invented it in pill form, like a red guy with red overalls from a red apartment building in Brooklyn on a red street in New York, which is red on my map of the earth asked him to do. Do you know any red guys around this part of this forest with it's red trees?"

"Only if you pay me 5000 coins," Mario said, trying to hold back laughter.

The Toasterpop Phantom was very upset, grabbing Mario (somehow, as he has no arms), pleading his case. "But that's my life savings! I have a wife and children to feed, and cute little baby toasters! Look!" He holds out a picture of two baby toasters, but Mario was still unimpressed.

"Oh, boo-hoo! Save it for the High Court of Toasterland!"

"But I was made and manufactured in Canada, which has the colour red on its flag."

"I said 5000 coins!" Mario yelled, wanting to get back on topic.

The Toasterpop Phantom gave in. "Oh, fine! Here are the coins! Take them! Take as many as you want!"

"I'm that red guy!" Mario exclaimed.

The Toasterpop Phantom was genuinely surprised. "Oh my gosh! It's Mario and Marty McFly! Now... I must kill you, because I'm evil and such and wouldn't be called a phantom otherwise." Mario just stood staring at the toaster, which was trying to threaten him with a piece of toast.

And, just on cue, Luigi comes running back. "Double-Yoo Tee Eff? Why does everyone think my name is Marty McFly! It's weird! I was never in any movie!"

"Yes you were, you were in that crappy Mario movie made in the late 20th century!" Toasterpop Phantom exclaimed.

"That was an ACTOR playing me, and his name wasn't Marty McFly!"

Then, there was a lot of silence. The Toasterpop Phantom was the first to talk. "Well, I'm off to the toaster meeting now!" He disappears in a cloud of toast, obviously. The Mario Brothers continue on their journey, basically forgetting everything about toasters... for the moment...

* * *

"In weird places, toasters have to appear!" Mario shouted. "TOASTERS! Who uses toasters anyway?"

"Well," Luigi chimed in, "toasters are considered breakfast food in fictional parts of the United States. Those fictional places include Cackletta's hideout in Bob County, A State, which I believe the next scene is about."

* * *

"Eeyah heh heh heh heh!" Cackletta cackled. "Why won't this toaster fit in my mouth? I want to eat it because I'm very, very hungry!"

"Because that's a STOVE being it a is! And planet on this no one stove eat ever try before to!" Fawful shouted, now using his regular garbled voice.

"Oh. I have a problem telling toasters and stoves apart. And shouldn't you be at my training camp for the evil dudes outside of SimCity?"

"SimCity, but where that is?"

"ON YOUR COMPUTER!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Mario was explaining to Luigi (again) on what they need to do. "Look, so are we going to get that bucket of KFC, or just wait here while some evil dudes try to take it?"

Unfortunately, they didn't notice Popple and Rookie trying to beat them to the bucket. They were at the ledge that deserved its own chapter.

"Look, see? We need to jump on that ledge, see? So, try and get a backpack, see?" Popple explained, Rookie writing down the information. "So, see, go get the backpack, see?"

"How can a backpack help us in getting on top of a ledge that we could climb up without the aid of a toaster oven or backpack?" Rookie questioned.

"Look, see, I'm not the author of this fic, see? So, ask why he or she is weird, see?"

* * *

"So we're at the giant tree thing, now what the hell are we supposed to do?" Mario asked. Announcer was still trying to recover from the shock of having his plane eaten by a tree, so he didn't answer. The giant tree thing he was standing in front of, however, started talking.

"SILENCE! I am the great emperor of this forest, the Chuckleroot," he explained, "and I demand that you bring me the following DVDs: that Rumbling Rocks DVD, Four Flicks, only available at the Medicorest Buy, that Super Mario Bros. Movie, and that new album by The Buggles."

Mario was baffled at how easy that was. "Can't you think of anything harder, like going all the way under holes and asking your daughters for the Chuckola Fruit?"

"SILENCE! No, it's not hard, as a construction company just bulldozed a part of this forest and built a Best Buy!"Mario sees the Mediocrest Buy the Chuckleroot mentioned.

"How convenient. They built a store in a convienent location in this story while ignoring the tree-hugging hippies."

* * *

Mario and Luigi return with the aforementioned items.

"SILENCE!" the Chuckleroot bellowed, for no reason.

"Why do you say "silence" in front of everything?" Mario asked.

"SILENCE! It's because those hippies want me to!"

"Right... now, can you let us pass?"

"No, because you got the new album by the Bangles, not the Buggles like I asked.

"But the store was all out!"

"Oh well, that's what I tell everyone," the Chuckleroot explained. "It's because of those hippies! Well, since you and your brother, Marty McFly are famous, than you can go by!" Mario and Luigi enter the Chuckleroot... which is then bulldozed to make way for some kind of store.

* * *

"LOOK, THE BUCKET OF KFC!" Mario exclaimed, joyously. "IT'S IN THAT PLACE ONE OCCUPIED BY A TREE!"

"Will we get it?" Luigi asked. "Find out after... this commercial? What did I say about NO MORE COMMERCIALS! WE HAD TWO COMMERCIAL BREAKS THIS CHAPTER ALONE!"

The director, now aware that the Toasterpop Phantom is gone, rushes in. "But we need fake commercials at least once a chapter so the author or authoress can keep his or her sanity."

Luigi was angry. "NO, YOU DON'T! Don't, YOU NO!"

* * *

Mario and Luigi: Crazy Star Saga is brought to you by the Grape Garden! Bringing you a place with bad-tasting pasta in the neighborhood since 1958.

"Mario does not approve of this sponsor!" Mario shouted, suddenly.

* * *

The first commercial appears. A girl is braiding Mario's hair, while babbling on and on and on.

"So, like, my cousin Bob, like, danced with an airplane in that new musical, but no one was, like, hurt, and everyone, like, was, like, like, like, happy, like. Anyway, with, like, this bag of, like, one million coins, and like, bought this, like, DVD and..."

"Will you be quiet?" Mario shouted.

The girl was shocked. "Like, like, sooo eeep, like sooo!" she shouts, while running away. A middle-aged man comes in, and Mario knew he had something to do with some kind of new cell phone calling plan.

"Some people are just very annoying," the man said.

"That's very true," Mario said, agreeing. "Once, a toaster working somewhere offered me a marriage license."

"A toaster? That's strange. But with Splint, our weekend-dealy starts at 7, not 9."

A map of the United States appears. The man explains more about the Splint weekend-dealy.

"With our new Splint Weekend-Dealy, something or another starts at 7, not 9, and starts on Friday, and you get 5,000,000 rollover minutes, and you don't have to pay anything on the weekend. Available in all 53 states except Antarctica and St. Louis."

* * *

Back in the forest, there's a guy telling jokes to a jar of soda.. "Oh look, it's Bubbles, that guy who tells the soda jokes," Mario said, obviously aware that Announcer said that before he said that.

"What do you call a cow eating grass? A lawnmooer!" Bubbles said, laughing. The jar of soda, however, isn't very amused.

"No funny detected."

Luigi, who was outside, rushed back into the room. "Mario! A new bookstore just opened up! Let's go!" Luigi then ran outside again.

"Well... it's certainly much better than listening to someone tell crappy jokes," Mario said, following Luigi. They went into a bookstore called Barnes & Noble Knights, and both go their separate ways looking for books.

"Hmm... should I get "History of the Word Unböring" by Some IKEA Worker, or "It Looks Suspicious, But Delicious" by Nessica E. Munchlax?" Mario asked to himself. He takes the book called "It Looks Suspicious, But Delicious" and starts flipping through it.

"This book says that nuclear waste can be really good for you, because it can make you grow really big. It also says that one can of nuclear waste can make you loose weight faster than eating hamburgers all day! Wow... just wow..."

Luigi, meanwhile, was looking through the biography section. "Biographies about famous people! Crawdaunt the movie actor, George Washington the person with a lot of people named after him, and Apple iPod the MP3 player!" Mario and Luigi go to the checkout counter and leave the store soon aftewords.

"I got a book telling you about things that look suspicious, like nuclear waste and children's toys, but taste really good!" Mario told Luigi.

"I got a biography about the Apple iPod, and a map of A State – they say it's the Obviously Made Up State," Luigi said.

* * *

The Mario Bros. Return to the basement where the tree was... and Bubbles the joke telling man was still telling lame jokes.

"What do you call grass eating a cow?" he asked the jar of soda. "A moolawner! Hahaha!"

"I already told you this, but no funny detected, dammit!" The soda jar yelled. This didn't stop Bubbles from telling jokes.

"What time do you go to a dentist? Tooth-hurty!"

"Fernando, you've been these crappy jokes for 58 years, and I can't tolerate it! So just SHUT UP ALREADY!"

"My name isn't Fernando, and you know that! But, I'll still tell crappy jokes..."

The jar of soda, now pissed off, turns into the Chuckolator – a scary creature made of... soda.

"I've had enough! I'm joining Fawful's army – the Farmy!"

Bubbles was also angry. "How dare you!"

"Actually," a voice chimed in, "with controlling brain newspaper ads in the, Farmy everyone will join!"

It was Fawful, who soon left because he realized that he was not needed for the rest of this chapter. Mario and Luigi, however, payed no attention to all those events and just moved on to the next room... which was an important room.

* * *

"Well, it took us a few chapters, but there's the legendary bucket of KFC!" Mario said, with a sigh of relief.

"Who cares?" asked Luigi. "Let's just eat it anyway!"

Luigi takes a piece of chicken from the bucket, and eats it. Normally nothing would happen. But this is the legendary bucket of KFC. So Luigi becomes crazy.

"Dude, like dude I'm going dude to dude drive a dude car dude!"

Luigi pretends to go into the car, but still enters it.The car flies off... and into a store. "WHEE! Look! An Aldi." Luigi crashes the car into the Aldi, but the building is not damaged and the car explodes with flowers and rainbows.

"You know what that means?" Luigi asked.

"No, I don't even know what the hell I'm doing here," Announcer responded.

Luigi ignored Announcer. "It's time to sing!" Luigi takes a streetlamp from the street, turns it into a guitar, and starts playing it and singing.

"_When I came to this grocery store in the summer of '76,_

_We thought it had cheap quality goods,_

_But it really had good ones,_

_At discount prices, much lower than the normal ones!_

_Oh, discount prices, I like them so much!_

_  
Oh, discount prices, they save us money!_

_  
But tragic things happened in the winter of '84,_

_When the inside of a Aldi froze from 2 degree temperatures,_

_2 were killed, and 98 were injured,_

_Yet no one got frostbite!_

_We all know German discount grocery stores are the best,_

_And they have discount prices!_

_Oh, discount prices, I like them so much!_

Oh, discount prices, they save us money!"  


* * *

Luigi woke up, back in the real world this time. Mario was shocked. "That was very, very weird! I mean, it looked like you were in a whole different world!"

"Not just a whole different world, Mario," Luigi explained. "A whole different GROCERY STORE!"

Mario just sighs. He picks up the bucket of chicken and walks towards the castle.

* * *

"Well, I'm fine," Queen Bean explained, "because I went to the nearest KFC and ate their chicken!"

"So, we went on this adventure for NOTHING?" Mario sputtered.

"That's right!" Bean explained, ignoring Mario's anger. "You had to go through my pre-planned adventure through The Forest Formally Known as Chucklechuk (the last word still not being French), and get the legendary bucket of KFC! Apparently, the side effects cause you to crash a car into an Aldi and sing a song about discount grocery stores. So, just keep the bucket and with this offer, you can get a free potted plant!"

Mario was confused. "Why do we need a plant?" he asked.

"Um, it adds beauty to your house! Plus, you have to water it everyday!"

Mario was still confused.

"Erm..." Bean was thinking of something else to give Mario. "I'll offer you this... bottle of potpourri and... how about this model of nuclear plant with real radiation, which was detonated only once to stop the car company from making cars."

"Fine. I'll take it, if it's going to get you to shut up," Mario said, in a defeated tone of voice.

"Thank goodness!"

Mario walks outside, with Luigi following him. Mario dumps all of the junk into the moat.

Queen Bean, however, does not know this. "I got rid of my junk! Time for a celebration!" She runs into the government television station to make an important announcement.Mario is outside, watching the government television station on a radio.

"I, Queen Bean, as the 51st queen of the Beanbean Kingdom, declare that today, Saturday, January 17, 2004, is now the holiday "I cleaned out all of my junk from my castle and gave it to a celebrity" Day," Queen Bean said to the television audience. "On this day, we celebrate me cleaning out junk from my castle."

"This qualifies as the crappiest holiday on this planet," Mario said. He threw the radio into the window of the government television station.

Queen Bean was still explaining what has to be done. "On this day, a parade must be thrown for a celebration, and..." The radio hits her in the head. "...that I'm dieing. I'm dead!"

She soon remembered that she was alive.

"Anyway, celebration, blah blah blah, parade, blah blah blah, and potato chips! GOOD NIGHT!"

* * *

When I originally uploaded this story, this chapter was originally two. I've decided to combine both into one chapter, as both deal with the KFC bucket adventure. 

-The NessSnorlax


End file.
